I've been looking forward to seeing everyone at Christmas. I miss the family terribly, especially since this is the first time I've been this far away for so long. I know living away from everyone will get easier with time, but for now, 6 months has seemed far longer.
Cameron hooked up with a couple of local bands when we first got to Phoenix, but it turned out they just didn't have their stuff together. Lots of indecisiveness and being vague as to what they would be doing next made it not worth the effort. At that time, he was going to have a gig during Christmas week so I was going to fly to California and he would join me later.
Well, since the band thing went awry, we are now looking at other options. Rental cars are pretty expensive and so we're currently planning to hop on the bike for the trip. I got a backpack carrier for Tuesday, and the cats will do fine with an extra litter box and lots of food and water. The bike needs new tires and servicing so that's our main focus. At least the money put into the bike will carry over to regular use when we get back.
Ah, the car. It's still sitting in limbo and there's no estimate as to when we will arrive at a decision as to its fate. Probably won't even consider it until after the holidays.
My bike is coming along slowly. Without a garage to work in and less daylight hours, our time is somewhat limited. Add to that exhaustive classes and my bizarre work schedule, it's hard to get much done at a time. We are making progress, though. It will be fantastic to have my own transportation again. I'll definitely be needing some sort of saddlebags and/or tailbag for the bike in order to pick up groceries and such.
I'm starting to look for other work, or at least something extra to bring in more money. With the cutbacks at the store, they have reduced everyone's hours. So, instead of almost 40 a week, I'm getting almost 30. It's just not enough. I've found several possibilities, but that, too, will probably be best taken care of after the holidays. It's hard to take time off at a job you just started.
Phoenix does seem to have a winter, though not as definitive as Albuquerque's. We've had some cold breezy days and chilly nights/mornings. A pronounced difference from the days in the upper 70's just last month. It makes for cold rides to and from work.
I can't help but wonder where we'll go after he graduates. BMW has dealerships all over the world and there's only 2 campuses in the US that train certified mechanics for BMW. Apparently, most graduates have a job waiting for them when they leave MMI, so I guess we'll know some time next summer. I haven't really decided what I want to do after he gets situated and it's my turn to get some new training. I think where we move to will have a great influence on my choices, depending on what is available and our general situation at the time. What lies ahead in the coming months is totally up in the air. The only sure thing is his school, as sure as that can be, anyway.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Alot of Water Under the Bridge, and a Few Boulders
It's been awhile, actually over a month, since my last post.
It got kind of crazy for a while there, and I guess I'm beginning to pull out of slump. You see, first my car started acting like it wasn't going to make it to work, let alone back again. So, I stopped driving it and Cameron had to take me to work. That sometimes meant spending several hours hanging out at a cafe nearby until it was time for my shift to start, or for him to get out of class to pick me up. If I worked 3 to 9:00, he had to drop me off at 12:30 so he could be at school by 1:00, leaving me with a couple of hours to kill. It gave me time to get some computer work done, like writing and such.
Well, that worked out fine for a couple of days, then my laptop got stolen out of the breakroom at work. It does little good to have a combination lock on a door if no one closes it. Hard lesson learned. Fortunately, our renter's insurance covered the laptop as I use it for work, namely writing. It took a few days to get the check and a few more to find a good deal on a replacement.
I'm having a harder time dealing with the lost thoughts and ideas that were stored on that piece of hardware. Naively I hadn't backed up my files, so I lost everything.
Of course, the information is in my head and can probably be regurgitated into something, perhaps better than the original work. But part of me was in that. The beginning of my book was there and in that were my deepest emotions and fears from that first day of "the accident". I laboriously expelled them into the laptop so I could finally let them rest, let myself rest. Someone took that away from me, robbed me of that peace. This weekend I'll start again, perhaps from more of a distance, and this time they will be backed up and safe from harm.
Oh, about the car. Two days after the laptop was stolen, I decided to try to drive the car to work. We were in serious need of groceries and I figured it would make at least one more trip. Well, I was wrong. On the way home from the grocery store, after a late shift, the car suddenly lost power. I was able to nurse it into a parking lot a few blocks away from the store. Unfortunately, I had no cell phone, since it had been in the laptop case when it was stolen, so I walked to a Walgreen's to use a payphone. I really missed my phone. The payphone was very dirty and I had such a poor connection that I could barely hear Cameron when I called him.
Long story short, we eventually got the car picked up by AAA and towed home, groceries and all. The final destiny for the car is yet undetermined. In the inter rem, we have pulled my motorcycle out of storage and Cameron has been hard at work doing repairs. It was damaged about a year ago and never fixed. I'm not sure when it will be ready for me to ride so, since I don't want a replay of the laptop theft, I'm getting a lot of reading done. It's nice, in that sense, since I don't take the time to read much these days, though that may change. I've gotten through several books that I had gotten a couple of years ago, but left on the shelf.
Wow, I just checked the time and it's almost midnight. I hate working the closing shift since it takes me a while to unwind, making my final bedtime late. So, good night and with laptop now in hand, I'll return to more regular postings.
It got kind of crazy for a while there, and I guess I'm beginning to pull out of slump. You see, first my car started acting like it wasn't going to make it to work, let alone back again. So, I stopped driving it and Cameron had to take me to work. That sometimes meant spending several hours hanging out at a cafe nearby until it was time for my shift to start, or for him to get out of class to pick me up. If I worked 3 to 9:00, he had to drop me off at 12:30 so he could be at school by 1:00, leaving me with a couple of hours to kill. It gave me time to get some computer work done, like writing and such.
Well, that worked out fine for a couple of days, then my laptop got stolen out of the breakroom at work. It does little good to have a combination lock on a door if no one closes it. Hard lesson learned. Fortunately, our renter's insurance covered the laptop as I use it for work, namely writing. It took a few days to get the check and a few more to find a good deal on a replacement.
I'm having a harder time dealing with the lost thoughts and ideas that were stored on that piece of hardware. Naively I hadn't backed up my files, so I lost everything.
Of course, the information is in my head and can probably be regurgitated into something, perhaps better than the original work. But part of me was in that. The beginning of my book was there and in that were my deepest emotions and fears from that first day of "the accident". I laboriously expelled them into the laptop so I could finally let them rest, let myself rest. Someone took that away from me, robbed me of that peace. This weekend I'll start again, perhaps from more of a distance, and this time they will be backed up and safe from harm.
Oh, about the car. Two days after the laptop was stolen, I decided to try to drive the car to work. We were in serious need of groceries and I figured it would make at least one more trip. Well, I was wrong. On the way home from the grocery store, after a late shift, the car suddenly lost power. I was able to nurse it into a parking lot a few blocks away from the store. Unfortunately, I had no cell phone, since it had been in the laptop case when it was stolen, so I walked to a Walgreen's to use a payphone. I really missed my phone. The payphone was very dirty and I had such a poor connection that I could barely hear Cameron when I called him.
Long story short, we eventually got the car picked up by AAA and towed home, groceries and all. The final destiny for the car is yet undetermined. In the inter rem, we have pulled my motorcycle out of storage and Cameron has been hard at work doing repairs. It was damaged about a year ago and never fixed. I'm not sure when it will be ready for me to ride so, since I don't want a replay of the laptop theft, I'm getting a lot of reading done. It's nice, in that sense, since I don't take the time to read much these days, though that may change. I've gotten through several books that I had gotten a couple of years ago, but left on the shelf.
Wow, I just checked the time and it's almost midnight. I hate working the closing shift since it takes me a while to unwind, making my final bedtime late. So, good night and with laptop now in hand, I'll return to more regular postings.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Venier Caliper Days
This evening I had one of my "why me, why us" moments. It was brief, but still made its appearance; something that has been more frequent these days.
Why do we always seem to take the bumpiest, longest "road" to get anywhere? Where are the easy routes, and why are they so often obscured from our vision? Aren't we all using the same map, or are some people gifted with the latest and greatest, while the rest of us muddle through with outdated information and blurred print?
I think it's because we, Cameron and I, need to take the time to understand our surroundings and digest where we've been. There are lessons in each mile that we didn't learn the last time we came through these parts, but ones that we can now figure out if we put our heads together. Sometimes the lessons are painful and the routes run through old scars of past trips. Rather than breeze through the rocky terrain, anxious to move ahead, we stop and discuss other potential, perhaps more scenic, routes through the same locale.
Cameron is finished with the theory portion of his training. Today he spent several hours learning tedious details and methods for using a "venier caliper". It is used to measure engine parts and other things that relate to the motorcycle. (I have to admit that as he told me about it, my mind stuck on the name of the device, mulling it over in my head, as he was relaying the more technical information about it.) Anyway, he spent the better part of today's 5 hour class studying about this instrument, only to be informed, in the end, that it is considered an antiquated device which has been replaced with a digital version that does much of the work for you. Without this knowledge of the outdated caliper, would he appreciate the value of what he has to work with today and in the future.
The long way around, the rockiest path, the faded map; in the last 3 1/2 years I have learned more about me, and about relationships, than I had in the previous 44. Our combined knowledge and experience, mixed with a lot of collaboration, has gotten us through deep potholes and up sheer cliffs. I'm learning to appreciate the past and to understand how it got me to where I am now. The map is getting a little clearer and the road ahead is a little smoother.
Why do we always seem to take the bumpiest, longest "road" to get anywhere? Where are the easy routes, and why are they so often obscured from our vision? Aren't we all using the same map, or are some people gifted with the latest and greatest, while the rest of us muddle through with outdated information and blurred print?
I think it's because we, Cameron and I, need to take the time to understand our surroundings and digest where we've been. There are lessons in each mile that we didn't learn the last time we came through these parts, but ones that we can now figure out if we put our heads together. Sometimes the lessons are painful and the routes run through old scars of past trips. Rather than breeze through the rocky terrain, anxious to move ahead, we stop and discuss other potential, perhaps more scenic, routes through the same locale.
Cameron is finished with the theory portion of his training. Today he spent several hours learning tedious details and methods for using a "venier caliper". It is used to measure engine parts and other things that relate to the motorcycle. (I have to admit that as he told me about it, my mind stuck on the name of the device, mulling it over in my head, as he was relaying the more technical information about it.) Anyway, he spent the better part of today's 5 hour class studying about this instrument, only to be informed, in the end, that it is considered an antiquated device which has been replaced with a digital version that does much of the work for you. Without this knowledge of the outdated caliper, would he appreciate the value of what he has to work with today and in the future.
The long way around, the rockiest path, the faded map; in the last 3 1/2 years I have learned more about me, and about relationships, than I had in the previous 44. Our combined knowledge and experience, mixed with a lot of collaboration, has gotten us through deep potholes and up sheer cliffs. I'm learning to appreciate the past and to understand how it got me to where I am now. The map is getting a little clearer and the road ahead is a little smoother.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Sadness
I'm having a hard time lately. I've never been so far away from my family for so long before. I miss being able to call my mom for a spur of the moment lunch date when I'm out running errands or just need a break from the normal happenings of life. I miss seeing my daughter in the morning, all sleepy and sometimes grumpy, but huggable, just the same. I sometimes wonder who took care of who more.
I know part of this is that I'm making my travel plans for a Christmas visit. It brings up memories and reminds me that it will have been about 6 months since seeing everyone when I make it back there. I think another part of my rawness is the replaying of events from the accident. It's made my psyche a little more delicate.
Today was the hardest day that I've had for a while. I just got done with a week and a half stretch with no days off and fatigue that leaves me focusing on getting off my feet and trying to get a decent night's sleep. Today I rested. Of course, that's a relative term since everyone has their own idea of what is restful.
My plan was to stay off my feet to rest my knees, which are acting up and making the 8 hour shifts at a cash register barely tolerable the last hour. I was going to do more writing, since I can sit in the LazyBoy and keep my feet elevated. Instead I thought about my holiday visit. I called my daughter and we chatted for over an hour. Then I let some tears come. Well, I snuffed them out fairly quickly, it does so little good to cry. There is nothing to change, no misdeeds to regret, no one to fault. Life is doing what life does, maintaining constant movement and motion in a forward direction.
In Albuquerque, I connected with people that felt almost like family. Their company was soothing to the sadness and loneliness I was feeling from the initial departure from our old home. Here, in Phoenix, everything is superficial. I can't seem to find anything soothing to calm my sadness. I exchange pleasantries with neighbors and chat with co-workers, but the connection only lasts as long as the conversation, then it's gone.
Deep down I wonder if part of my observations of others around me is due to a fear of getting close to anyone again. It's so painful to tear away from relationships. Since we're only here a year, is it worth trying to cultivate such friendships? And who knows where we will end up after Cameron's training is completed? It would be nice to have an idea in advance so I can start to get to know the area better. My moving to Phoenix was sort of spur of the moment so there was little known about the place when we left. I had lots of time to research about Albuquerque so it was already familiar to me when we arrived. I guess I need time to get to know where I'm going in order to begin to establish a relationship with it early on. Maybe Phoenix would have seemed less foreign and impersonal had I had time to get to know it first. Time will tell.
I know part of this is that I'm making my travel plans for a Christmas visit. It brings up memories and reminds me that it will have been about 6 months since seeing everyone when I make it back there. I think another part of my rawness is the replaying of events from the accident. It's made my psyche a little more delicate.
Today was the hardest day that I've had for a while. I just got done with a week and a half stretch with no days off and fatigue that leaves me focusing on getting off my feet and trying to get a decent night's sleep. Today I rested. Of course, that's a relative term since everyone has their own idea of what is restful.
My plan was to stay off my feet to rest my knees, which are acting up and making the 8 hour shifts at a cash register barely tolerable the last hour. I was going to do more writing, since I can sit in the LazyBoy and keep my feet elevated. Instead I thought about my holiday visit. I called my daughter and we chatted for over an hour. Then I let some tears come. Well, I snuffed them out fairly quickly, it does so little good to cry. There is nothing to change, no misdeeds to regret, no one to fault. Life is doing what life does, maintaining constant movement and motion in a forward direction.
In Albuquerque, I connected with people that felt almost like family. Their company was soothing to the sadness and loneliness I was feeling from the initial departure from our old home. Here, in Phoenix, everything is superficial. I can't seem to find anything soothing to calm my sadness. I exchange pleasantries with neighbors and chat with co-workers, but the connection only lasts as long as the conversation, then it's gone.
Deep down I wonder if part of my observations of others around me is due to a fear of getting close to anyone again. It's so painful to tear away from relationships. Since we're only here a year, is it worth trying to cultivate such friendships? And who knows where we will end up after Cameron's training is completed? It would be nice to have an idea in advance so I can start to get to know the area better. My moving to Phoenix was sort of spur of the moment so there was little known about the place when we left. I had lots of time to research about Albuquerque so it was already familiar to me when we arrived. I guess I need time to get to know where I'm going in order to begin to establish a relationship with it early on. Maybe Phoenix would have seemed less foreign and impersonal had I had time to get to know it first. Time will tell.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Book
Today I started writing the book. The one a mentioned earlier about Cameron's accident. It's been close to a year and a half, but my memory holds on to it like it was yesterday. This is going to be a tough endeavor. As I write, tears well up and I have to stop periodically to gain control. Perhaps this will be a kind of therapy for me, to finally tell my story, to lay it out for everyone to see, to no longer hold onto it in case the need should arise to share it.
Work has been exhausting and I often spend my off time sleeping. I'm in the middle of a week and a half straight with no days off. Hourly positions are a pain that way. I can't get a straight 8hour day/5 day work week for anything. At least not yet. In order to get 40 hours this week, I'm covering for a couple of people who wanted time off. Since they're students, the chunks of time are only 4 and 6 hours. I can hardly wait for Friday. Saturday we're going to a motorcycle expo that is here, in Phoenix. It'll be nice to do something non-work related.
Cameron has taken up a lot of the household duties so I can focus my free time to working on the book. There's isn't a set time to have it finished, but perhaps the end of his school year would be a good goal. Any longer and it will be lost in the files of other unfinished works. At least I have a reason to finish this one.
I'll keep you posted as to my progress. I have an early shift tomorrow so I'd better get to bed.
Work has been exhausting and I often spend my off time sleeping. I'm in the middle of a week and a half straight with no days off. Hourly positions are a pain that way. I can't get a straight 8hour day/5 day work week for anything. At least not yet. In order to get 40 hours this week, I'm covering for a couple of people who wanted time off. Since they're students, the chunks of time are only 4 and 6 hours. I can hardly wait for Friday. Saturday we're going to a motorcycle expo that is here, in Phoenix. It'll be nice to do something non-work related.
Cameron has taken up a lot of the household duties so I can focus my free time to working on the book. There's isn't a set time to have it finished, but perhaps the end of his school year would be a good goal. Any longer and it will be lost in the files of other unfinished works. At least I have a reason to finish this one.
I'll keep you posted as to my progress. I have an early shift tomorrow so I'd better get to bed.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
First of the Dog Days
Last night was my first evening working at the pets hotel at the store. I learned a few things, such as some duties are best left the the younger kids, and I have more of a dog allergy than I thought.
Hmm...maybe this isn't the best area for me to work in.
It started with a chat around the front desk followed by a test that I had to get 100% on. It was preceded by a lengthy manual about safety procedures and proper hotel maintenance. The test was only about 30 questions and a fellow associate conveniently did some paperwork right next to me while I quickly went through the test. She acknowledged my correct answers and made a noise if I considered an incorrect one. It's funny, they all took the test this way or at least had someone go over it with them after they finished, but before they clicked the "send" button to head it off to corporate. Thus, everyone gets 100%. Whatever!
Next I was given a frequently interrupted tour of the facility by the assistant manager. They are capable of housing a lot of dogs there. There's over 120 kennels and some had multiple family members in them, as well as about 25 cat cages. There's rooms designated as the potty rooms for "walking" the dogs in (they have drains in the floor so they can be disinfected and washed down) 3 big rooms for the "doggie daycamp" play areas, and a training room.
Since I had been called in to help with the unexpectedly large volume of guests that had come in, I performed a little bit of every duty, except front desk. I cleaned kennels, did laundry, hugged anxious animals, and assisted in the doggie daycamp room for small dogs. That's where I found out that I can't handle being in a room with about 20 dogs, all clamoring for attention and playing, without having a sneezing fit or breaking out with hives. I did OK for the first 1/2 hour or 45 minutes, but after that, it was uncomfortable and a half hour later I had to leave the room. I was then given the job of cleaning food bowls. It seemed like a never-ending flow of stainless steel bowls that I scrubbed out under hot water and then loaded into a sterilizing machine, similar to a dishwasher. I don't understand why they don't just use a dishwasher, but I guess someone decided this was best. I don't know how long I was at the dishes, but my back was killing me when I finally reached some point at an ebb in the flow and stopped. It was a good time for a break anyway.
The rest of the evening was spent checking on kennels/guests, looking for messes to clean up or animals that looked stressed. It was nice to spend time with them and pet them or pick them up to hold them for a while. The one on one or sometimes two on one time worked out fine for me, I guess the intensity of so much DOG in one room at once is just too much. Actually, the kneeling and bending and up and down, etc. was a little much too. Of course those muscles will get stronger with more use, but at the end of the day, I was sore. Sore and exhausted.
I had today off and mostly rested. I've been told that this time of year is the worst for allergies in Phoenix and I believe it. I've been sneezing for the past 2 weeks and last night's infusion of intense dog had done me in. My sinuses are not happy and so, in order to stave off any potential lurking bacteria (sinus infection) I listened to my body and took a long nap. I feel a little better tonight and will be back at work tomorrow morning. I have no idea what part of the store I'll be in since I've told them to put me anywhere so I can get the most hours. I think the best mix would be to do half a day of cashiering then work in the hotel. Last night's 7 hours was a bit much.
Next weekend we're going to bring the Suzuki motorcycle out of storage and fix it up so I can ride it again. It got crashed last winter and we haven't gotten around to fixing the last few things that are messed up, as well as lowering it so I can flat foot it. I stopped riding it because it was too tall for me and frequently, when I stopped it in a parking lot on uneven ground, it fell over because I couldn't catch it. That was embarrassing and usually broke off one of the hand levers, making it undriveable until it was replaced. They are cheap pot metal, for some reason, and stick out just enough that they catch the brunt of the impact when the bike falls over. Since the bike is top-heavy, it's hard for me to pick it up, too.
The repair and subsequent riding of the bike is because the car I'm driving is making some unsettling noises that make me not trust it to make it to my destination. I think it's the transmission going out and the repairs to the bike are cheaper than getting the transmission fixed. Since I need reliable transportation to go to work to make the money to fix the car, fixing the bike first seems to make the most sense. That way I won't drive the car any more than necessary and it can limp along until it can get some attention. It's about 12 to 15 miles to work, so that's potentially about 180 miles less a week. Besides, since Cameron is getting back into the music business, he'll need the car to take the keyboard to practices and gigs. (It's kind of difficult to carry a full-size keyboard on a motorcycle, though I have come up with some creative thoughts : ) on how to do it.)
I can hardly wait until this year is up and we find out where we'll be heading to next. There are BMW dealerships all over the world and the students at MMI frequently have jobs waiting for them before they graduate. I hope that is the case with us. It would be a nice change to have employers offering jobs, instead of us going hunting for jobs. Most likely, if we stay in the US or Canada, I will be able to just transfer to another store in the city we move to. I don't really know what I want to do with myself after he gets into his position. We've talked about me going back to school or pursuing some other course, but I guess that will come to me in time. I have lots of ideas and interests, but little direction as to how to make them happen. Again, we have time to see what unfolds, I just have a little trouble with the patience for waiting for that to happen.
I really miss everyone. I miss family in California and the "family" that started to form in Albuquerque. Here, I feel like one of the multitude of workers that inhabit the area. Everyone has their "bubble" that they keep around themselves that keeps others at arm's length from them. I've met some really nice people, but none offer the genuine warmth that I received in Albuquerque. Perhaps they just take a little longer to warm up to someone. With the holidays approaching, this may all change as people get in the mood for gathering and celebrating. Again I'm faced with that word that haunts me: PATIENCE. Ugh! It will eventually beat me into submission, but for now, it escapes me at the worst times, when I need it most, then hangs around afterwards to taunt me, fingering its nose at me.
As usual, I'm writing this before I head off to bed. A good night's sleep may bring me some of that elusive stuff I need so much of these days...
Hmm...maybe this isn't the best area for me to work in.
It started with a chat around the front desk followed by a test that I had to get 100% on. It was preceded by a lengthy manual about safety procedures and proper hotel maintenance. The test was only about 30 questions and a fellow associate conveniently did some paperwork right next to me while I quickly went through the test. She acknowledged my correct answers and made a noise if I considered an incorrect one. It's funny, they all took the test this way or at least had someone go over it with them after they finished, but before they clicked the "send" button to head it off to corporate. Thus, everyone gets 100%. Whatever!
Next I was given a frequently interrupted tour of the facility by the assistant manager. They are capable of housing a lot of dogs there. There's over 120 kennels and some had multiple family members in them, as well as about 25 cat cages. There's rooms designated as the potty rooms for "walking" the dogs in (they have drains in the floor so they can be disinfected and washed down) 3 big rooms for the "doggie daycamp" play areas, and a training room.
Since I had been called in to help with the unexpectedly large volume of guests that had come in, I performed a little bit of every duty, except front desk. I cleaned kennels, did laundry, hugged anxious animals, and assisted in the doggie daycamp room for small dogs. That's where I found out that I can't handle being in a room with about 20 dogs, all clamoring for attention and playing, without having a sneezing fit or breaking out with hives. I did OK for the first 1/2 hour or 45 minutes, but after that, it was uncomfortable and a half hour later I had to leave the room. I was then given the job of cleaning food bowls. It seemed like a never-ending flow of stainless steel bowls that I scrubbed out under hot water and then loaded into a sterilizing machine, similar to a dishwasher. I don't understand why they don't just use a dishwasher, but I guess someone decided this was best. I don't know how long I was at the dishes, but my back was killing me when I finally reached some point at an ebb in the flow and stopped. It was a good time for a break anyway.
The rest of the evening was spent checking on kennels/guests, looking for messes to clean up or animals that looked stressed. It was nice to spend time with them and pet them or pick them up to hold them for a while. The one on one or sometimes two on one time worked out fine for me, I guess the intensity of so much DOG in one room at once is just too much. Actually, the kneeling and bending and up and down, etc. was a little much too. Of course those muscles will get stronger with more use, but at the end of the day, I was sore. Sore and exhausted.
I had today off and mostly rested. I've been told that this time of year is the worst for allergies in Phoenix and I believe it. I've been sneezing for the past 2 weeks and last night's infusion of intense dog had done me in. My sinuses are not happy and so, in order to stave off any potential lurking bacteria (sinus infection) I listened to my body and took a long nap. I feel a little better tonight and will be back at work tomorrow morning. I have no idea what part of the store I'll be in since I've told them to put me anywhere so I can get the most hours. I think the best mix would be to do half a day of cashiering then work in the hotel. Last night's 7 hours was a bit much.
Next weekend we're going to bring the Suzuki motorcycle out of storage and fix it up so I can ride it again. It got crashed last winter and we haven't gotten around to fixing the last few things that are messed up, as well as lowering it so I can flat foot it. I stopped riding it because it was too tall for me and frequently, when I stopped it in a parking lot on uneven ground, it fell over because I couldn't catch it. That was embarrassing and usually broke off one of the hand levers, making it undriveable until it was replaced. They are cheap pot metal, for some reason, and stick out just enough that they catch the brunt of the impact when the bike falls over. Since the bike is top-heavy, it's hard for me to pick it up, too.
The repair and subsequent riding of the bike is because the car I'm driving is making some unsettling noises that make me not trust it to make it to my destination. I think it's the transmission going out and the repairs to the bike are cheaper than getting the transmission fixed. Since I need reliable transportation to go to work to make the money to fix the car, fixing the bike first seems to make the most sense. That way I won't drive the car any more than necessary and it can limp along until it can get some attention. It's about 12 to 15 miles to work, so that's potentially about 180 miles less a week. Besides, since Cameron is getting back into the music business, he'll need the car to take the keyboard to practices and gigs. (It's kind of difficult to carry a full-size keyboard on a motorcycle, though I have come up with some creative thoughts : ) on how to do it.)
I can hardly wait until this year is up and we find out where we'll be heading to next. There are BMW dealerships all over the world and the students at MMI frequently have jobs waiting for them before they graduate. I hope that is the case with us. It would be a nice change to have employers offering jobs, instead of us going hunting for jobs. Most likely, if we stay in the US or Canada, I will be able to just transfer to another store in the city we move to. I don't really know what I want to do with myself after he gets into his position. We've talked about me going back to school or pursuing some other course, but I guess that will come to me in time. I have lots of ideas and interests, but little direction as to how to make them happen. Again, we have time to see what unfolds, I just have a little trouble with the patience for waiting for that to happen.
I really miss everyone. I miss family in California and the "family" that started to form in Albuquerque. Here, I feel like one of the multitude of workers that inhabit the area. Everyone has their "bubble" that they keep around themselves that keeps others at arm's length from them. I've met some really nice people, but none offer the genuine warmth that I received in Albuquerque. Perhaps they just take a little longer to warm up to someone. With the holidays approaching, this may all change as people get in the mood for gathering and celebrating. Again I'm faced with that word that haunts me: PATIENCE. Ugh! It will eventually beat me into submission, but for now, it escapes me at the worst times, when I need it most, then hangs around afterwards to taunt me, fingering its nose at me.
As usual, I'm writing this before I head off to bed. A good night's sleep may bring me some of that elusive stuff I need so much of these days...
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
First Day
Well, today was my first actual work day and I spent it at the cash register. Wow, it's been a long time since I did that. It was fun, for the most part, until the last hour. My back started hurting so I was counting the remaining minutes. I'm looking forward to the cross-training, that will give me more hours and insurance, as well as changes of scenery on a regular basis. The people at the store are very nice and most of the customers were great, so it was a good day.
Cameron's gotten into a second band so will be playing keyboard with 2 bands and dropping the job at the vacuum cleaner store. I think he'll be much happier doing that and it will be nice to have the music back in our lives. I've missed it, even though he's been practicing off and on since we moved, it isn't the same frequency as when he's actively involved in a music project. The adjustment in hours will help, as well, since the intensity of his classes made it tough to maintain such a long work/school day.
I'm thinking about trying to do more commercial writing. I was looking over the blog from Cameron's accident (http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/camsgirl/t1178002800) and pondering the possibilities for using it in a book. Cameron has blog entries, as well, and perhaps combining them with earlier reflections on motorcycling to create something...it's just the what that escapes me. It's a new idea so I'll let it simmer a while and see what comes of it. If something good can come out of all of this, I can't say it was worth the heartache and physical pain/anguish, but at least doing something with all of it might ease some of the destruction that it caused. I hate how thinking about it still swells my throat and makes my eyes well up. Maybe this will be good therapy.
I'm, also, looking into some of my earlier writings and thinking about revising them and testing the waters of the periodical world. I've written some human interest type articles and started a few stories (I'm good at that, it's the finishing that is hard) that were begun when I was at a lull in my general goings-on, but stopped working on them when I got busy. I think it's time to blow the dust off them and see what I can do.
Looking at the time, I think what I can do right now is head in the direction of bed. I start at 9:30 tomorrow and go till 4:30. It's a long stretch at the register, actually the same as today. I need a good night's rest.
Cameron's gotten into a second band so will be playing keyboard with 2 bands and dropping the job at the vacuum cleaner store. I think he'll be much happier doing that and it will be nice to have the music back in our lives. I've missed it, even though he's been practicing off and on since we moved, it isn't the same frequency as when he's actively involved in a music project. The adjustment in hours will help, as well, since the intensity of his classes made it tough to maintain such a long work/school day.
I'm thinking about trying to do more commercial writing. I was looking over the blog from Cameron's accident (http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/camsgirl/t1178002800) and pondering the possibilities for using it in a book. Cameron has blog entries, as well, and perhaps combining them with earlier reflections on motorcycling to create something...it's just the what that escapes me. It's a new idea so I'll let it simmer a while and see what comes of it. If something good can come out of all of this, I can't say it was worth the heartache and physical pain/anguish, but at least doing something with all of it might ease some of the destruction that it caused. I hate how thinking about it still swells my throat and makes my eyes well up. Maybe this will be good therapy.
I'm, also, looking into some of my earlier writings and thinking about revising them and testing the waters of the periodical world. I've written some human interest type articles and started a few stories (I'm good at that, it's the finishing that is hard) that were begun when I was at a lull in my general goings-on, but stopped working on them when I got busy. I think it's time to blow the dust off them and see what I can do.
Looking at the time, I think what I can do right now is head in the direction of bed. I start at 9:30 tomorrow and go till 4:30. It's a long stretch at the register, actually the same as today. I need a good night's rest.
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