Muscle Strain, But That, Too, Shall Pass

I tend to get a little "preachy" when people talk about relationships being nothing but trouble, or the people involved seem to always have "bad luck" when it comes to marriages.  I'm on my third, so I hope I've learned a thing or two along the way to this point in my life.

My first one was dead before it started.  Neither one of us knew anything about what it took to have a working marriage.  Let alone keeping any kind of relationship together.  (Of course, it didn't help that he took his guidance  from his over controlling father, but that's another story.)

My second was based on the "I can change him theory", long proven to be a bogus ploy created by people who like to torture each other.

These first experiences taught me several things, one important lesson was that it takes two people to have a relationship, more specifically, two people who want to put the sweat into it, working side by side to keep it alive and well.  Relationships must be nurtured along and cared for.  They can't take care of themselves, even when they are beyond their infancy they are unable to weather changing tides and blizzards without help.  It sometimes takes work, that 4-lettered word that sends some people packing.

This leads me to my current, and final, marriage.  This time I was lucky enough to stumble upon a man who had understood the need for constant nurturing for a marriage to last; taking classes and reading about all the different tools that can help in the maintenance of a relationship.  Fortunately for me, apparently his prior mate had been lost in her own world and was unresponsive to his new-found knowledge.

A rare find, I have handled him with care because he is a gem, all by himself.  No need for me to try polishing him to make him shiny or to hide him because I don't like what I see in my reflection when I'm with him.  He knows the value of working on, maintaining, a relationship.  We've been doing a little extra work lately.  It's been a while since I've done this much work and my muscles are sore and stiff.  But as with any hard work towards a common goal, the aches and pain will subside and the fruits of all this labor will shine nicely again.

There are times I really pity the woman who couldn't see the sparkle in front of her, but was distracted by other shiny things.  But then, again, if she had seen it, I wouldn't be where I am today, and for that I am thankful.

Alone and All Over the Place

Well, this is the first night of Cameron's visit with his family, in Tennessee.  It's always the hardest.  The apartment feels strangely empty, despite the 4-legged beasties that roam its rooms.  I'm anxious and don't want to go the empty (OK, so the critters are there waiting for me) bed.

I'm not totally clear on this, but I think that "lone wolf" trip he was on when the accident happened, was the first time we had been apart.  We even had a great time when we were stranded for a couple of weeks in northern California.  We wrote and wrote together and never tired of each other's company. We've been an amazing team since we first met.

Maybe that's why it's so hard to be apart.  That lack of his presence, the void created is more than just in the physical air around me.  I guess we have this yin and yang thing going with us.  We fulfill each other's needs without having to think about it.

Tomorrow night will be better, a little easier.  The first night, though, is hard.  It's like having to re-orient myself to temporarily losing use of a limb.  Equilibrium is off at first and learning to move about without it takes some adjustments and confidence rebuilt.

I know this is all depressing and such, but it's the first night separation anxiety, if you need to give it a name.  I know I will do better tomorrow and once asleep, I won't realize he's not there.  It's taking that first step to going to sleep that's the hardest.

Well, I'll regret it if I don't turn in now.  It's late and my sleep meds should make fast work of sending me off to dreamland.

Good Night!

A Day Off, From Work at Least

Well, my first 2 days are past and I have today off.  It's a little overwhelming at times remembering the instructions given (I now have a pad to write everything down on).  I've mostly been working in the back of the store in the printing department.  I like it there as I meet so many interesting people and get to do to desktop publishing, which I really enjoy.  This picture was given to me by an artist who was making note cards of his latest creation:

He was very interesting, as you might have guessed, and very thankful for my assistance.  We get lots of artists who com in to do the same thing or to order them professionally done.  I got a copy of a beautiful photo of a small suspension bridge, which I would add to this post, but my scanner can't scan that large of a photo.  The bridge is over 80 years old and still in use, though I'd be hard-pressed to drive over the thing, let alone walk it!

I'm being cross-trained so I can be used in whatever department they want me in, but I've already gotten a following of several customers that ask for me by name, back in the print area.

Since today is my day off, I have tons of things to do, so should start into them.  I'm excited about the gift of this picture, received yesterday, and just wanted to share it with you.  Perhaps I'll write more later today.

Quest for Sleep and the Start of a New Day

I have terrible insomnia.  Allergies don't exactly help it, when it comes to being able to breathe at night.  So, lately, my pre-bedtime ritual includes my sleep medication, and a dose of allergy meds., and sometimes whatever else I can think of that might give me another hour or two of sleep.  This has been going on for weeks, now.

We need to replace the air cleaner that we usually run in the bedroom at night, but that will need to wait until my first paycheck.  The poor thing has given its all for me for almost 20 years.  We've managed to limp it along for a few months, but it's time to let it be and not attempt to resuscitate it any more.  In the meantime, I sneeze, cough,  and attempt to breathe all night.  There are many culprits to this condition.  One is plain old dust. The other is my allergy to the cats.  At first they slept at my feet and were mostly an annoyance when I wanted to shift position.  Now, they are taking to sleeping right up near my head or beside my pillow.  I suppose we could/should just lock the critters out of the bedroom at night, but they have grown up sleeping with Cameron, and now me, so that would be a very big issue to contend with.  I don't have any problems with dog dander, so Tuesday's snuggling doesn't bother me.

On our list of pending expenditures is some furniture.  Since we moved sooo much, we really trimmed down on what we have.    Since, I believe, we'll be here for awhile, it's time to begin replacing some of the items left behind.  Dressers for the bedroom, and a couch for the livingroom are top on the list.  It's hard to dust clothes that are on shelves or open tubs.  So, I think with some of these items obtained, my night time issues will be greatly reduced.

Ok, about the job.  Let's see, I was hired over 2 weeks ago and set off for drug testing and a background check was to be done.  Well, Friday, the manager finally called me and said everything was squared away and that I should come in today at 11:00.  I'm not sure how long my shift will be or what kind of schedule I'll have, except that it's 25-30 hour a week.  We'll be discussing that today.  After I'm done writing this, I'm going to see if I can squeeze in a little nap, before I need to get ready.  I've been awake since 3:00am and up since 4:00.  More sleep would be really nice.

I have a great deal of interest being shown for having parties, but none have scheduled anything yet.  So much for Santa Fe and the land of tomorrow!  Once I have an idea of what my schedule will be, I'll be setting off to nail down some of those prospective party hosts to some sort of date and time.  I need to get some items that really speak to the gay/lesbian crowd, as my prospective customers are of that community.  I currently have a fair collection of sample items that are more generic.  That's another thing to add to my list.  My first party was kind of wimpy so hasn't given me much to work with, plus, I'm working with a company that makes blankets and is based in Washington.  They make some incredibly soft fleece blankets that look/feel like some kind of thick, curly, lamb's wool, with one side covered in a soft, waterproof nylon.  I'm considering adding those to my line of offerings-a sample is on its way.  I especially like that they're US made and not by some third-world country.  There is another distributor that sells a similar water-proof type blanket, but it's  very much synthetic and with a somewhat tacky/porn look to it.  Not to mention, they are the same price and I wouldn't be competing with my distributor over sales.  It has some promise.  I am continually on the look out for products that would appeal to my customers, but is different from what other, similar, businesses sell.

My podcast is doing well.  I just uploaded my 8th show and the interview is with a national best-selling author, editor, speaker, and cupcake connoisseur.  She's a lot of fun to talk with. One reason I do these podcasts is out of the joy of meeting new people and hearing their stories.


Well, looking at the time, I need to try to get a little more sleep before I have to start getting ready for work.  I'll let you know how it goes.