Muscle Strain, But That, Too, Shall Pass

I tend to get a little "preachy" when people talk about relationships being nothing but trouble, or the people involved seem to always have "bad luck" when it comes to marriages.  I'm on my third, so I hope I've learned a thing or two along the way to this point in my life.

My first one was dead before it started.  Neither one of us knew anything about what it took to have a working marriage.  Let alone keeping any kind of relationship together.  (Of course, it didn't help that he took his guidance  from his over controlling father, but that's another story.)

My second was based on the "I can change him theory", long proven to be a bogus ploy created by people who like to torture each other.

These first experiences taught me several things, one important lesson was that it takes two people to have a relationship, more specifically, two people who want to put the sweat into it, working side by side to keep it alive and well.  Relationships must be nurtured along and cared for.  They can't take care of themselves, even when they are beyond their infancy they are unable to weather changing tides and blizzards without help.  It sometimes takes work, that 4-lettered word that sends some people packing.

This leads me to my current, and final, marriage.  This time I was lucky enough to stumble upon a man who had understood the need for constant nurturing for a marriage to last; taking classes and reading about all the different tools that can help in the maintenance of a relationship.  Fortunately for me, apparently his prior mate had been lost in her own world and was unresponsive to his new-found knowledge.

A rare find, I have handled him with care because he is a gem, all by himself.  No need for me to try polishing him to make him shiny or to hide him because I don't like what I see in my reflection when I'm with him.  He knows the value of working on, maintaining, a relationship.  We've been doing a little extra work lately.  It's been a while since I've done this much work and my muscles are sore and stiff.  But as with any hard work towards a common goal, the aches and pain will subside and the fruits of all this labor will shine nicely again.

There are times I really pity the woman who couldn't see the sparkle in front of her, but was distracted by other shiny things.  But then, again, if she had seen it, I wouldn't be where I am today, and for that I am thankful.