Alone and All Over the Place

Well, this is the first night of Cameron's visit with his family, in Tennessee.  It's always the hardest.  The apartment feels strangely empty, despite the 4-legged beasties that roam its rooms.  I'm anxious and don't want to go the empty (OK, so the critters are there waiting for me) bed.

I'm not totally clear on this, but I think that "lone wolf" trip he was on when the accident happened, was the first time we had been apart.  We even had a great time when we were stranded for a couple of weeks in northern California.  We wrote and wrote together and never tired of each other's company. We've been an amazing team since we first met.

Maybe that's why it's so hard to be apart.  That lack of his presence, the void created is more than just in the physical air around me.  I guess we have this yin and yang thing going with us.  We fulfill each other's needs without having to think about it.

Tomorrow night will be better, a little easier.  The first night, though, is hard.  It's like having to re-orient myself to temporarily losing use of a limb.  Equilibrium is off at first and learning to move about without it takes some adjustments and confidence rebuilt.

I know this is all depressing and such, but it's the first night separation anxiety, if you need to give it a name.  I know I will do better tomorrow and once asleep, I won't realize he's not there.  It's taking that first step to going to sleep that's the hardest.

Well, I'll regret it if I don't turn in now.  It's late and my sleep meds should make fast work of sending me off to dreamland.

Good Night!