I embarked in Bakersfield for the dreaded ride home, compliments of good ol' Greyhound Bus. The first leg of the trip was a 2 hour ride to the downtown Los Angeles terminal to transfer to the bus that would take me to Phoenix. During the ride, I had a pair of seats to myself and thought about the previous week, in between chapters of a book I'm reading, by Patricia Cornwell.
The first few days, it seemed like all Cameron and I did was argue. That made for a rough "vacation", at least the beginning of it. We came to some sort of understanding the last couple of days, and those were the ones that lingered as I traveled down Interstate 5 in the dark.
I anticipated this trip, since the first week we had left Bakersfield. Leaving my "little girl" behind and my family that had never been more than a couple of hours away, was really difficult for me. I had been missing them the entire time. At least that was what I thought drove my occasional tears and feelings of loss. I think what I'm really afraid of is change. When you see someone on a regular basis, the little changes that take place become part of daily life. But when time passes and these changes happen without your knowledge, they become huge. I don't want anyone to change, I want to be able to know that they will always be there, just as I left them.
Of course, that's not possible, and not fair to those I leave behind. This trip was more of a reassurance that even though I'm several states away, I can always go home. The hard part is understanding and accepting that it will never again be like it was last week, just as last year was not like the year before. And next time I visit, it will be different. I can no more hang on to the notion of the world remaining static, than I can water in my hands. Is this more of that "growing up" stuff?
The connection to the east-bound bus was daunting. Arriving at the station, I disembarked and headed to the appropriate door to await my next ride. Well, I easily found the door, but the hard part was finding the end of the line. It seemed like at least 3 bus loads of passengers were waiting with their baggage and I wondered whether they would have multiple buses or if I would be stuck in the station until the next available one pulled in, about 3 hours.
While waiting, I had an interesting conversation with the gentleman in front of me. He was quite talkative, and with little prompting, shared his exploits from the past 4 days with me.
He's a tractor-trailer delivery man. (I hadn't caught the actual job title he uses.) If a company needs one delivered to point B from point A, they call the company he works for and he goes and picks it up and drives it to its destination. Intriguing line of work. Well, it turns out that the massive storm in the Northwest caused some considerable snow and ice problems on the roads in the Portland area. Since the budget didn't allow for this sort of natural disaster, the Oregon roads department wasn't going to clear any roads or even lay down sand/salt. This made for interesting road conditions, such as 6-8 inches of ice with large "potholes" in it. Describing his harrowing travels along these roads, with a tractor/trailer, made me glad to not be driving around.
He, also, informed me that he recently found out that the divorce he thought he had 21 years ago, was never finalized. Of course, that would be a shock, but apparently his "ex-wife" had remarried. She apparently never filed the final declaration, but enjoyed taking most of their assets. I would not want to be in his shoes.
It's getting late, but I have more tales to tell. I'll add part B tomorrow.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Eve and All is not Well
It started out so easy. We would go to my parent's for Christmas, taking a week from our insane schedules to relax and visit. Unfortunately, that's not how it turned out.
Cameron has been trying to fix my motorcycle so I can have some sort of transportation to take me to and from work, besides the bus. Of course, my bike has had ideas of its own and has been very uncooperative in this endeavor. More things seem to keep popping up that need fixing and that has taken all of his free morning hours. Needless to say, it's still not feeling too well.
Speaking of not feeling too well, Cameron found himself on the verge of pneumonia days before we were supposed to leave. Since my bike has been so time-consuming, and he's been feeling so terrible, he hasn't had time to work on getting his bike ready for the trip to Bakersfield.
So, since he knew it was important for me to see Madeline and my family, he suggested I go on without him, via Greyhound, and he would stay behind to recuperate and get the rest of the wrenching done. Riding a bike with a questionable tire, in windy winter conditions, with a chest cold, for 9 hours, just didn't seem like a wise option.
Fast forward, several days and here I am, wishing I had insisted on renting a car and bringing him here with me. I miss him terribly and he's home alone and miserable. This will not be a repeated performance in the future. All I can do now is try to bring some Christmas home for him and hope that will soothe his battered soul. I'm afraid I haven't had as good a time as hoped, either, due to knowing how upset and lonely Cameron is.
Tomorrow will be a nice day, with most of the family getting together and hanging out. I'll probably do most of the cooking and such, unless Dad arm wrestles me for the job. I think I'm going to need to take a long walk, or get on the treadmill for a while to get rid of the extra calories from the day.
On Friday evening, I'll head back to Phoenix and my lonely family. Cameron says the animals have been more needy and I guess I should be glad that I'm missed. It just makes it harder to be away.
Cameron has been trying to fix my motorcycle so I can have some sort of transportation to take me to and from work, besides the bus. Of course, my bike has had ideas of its own and has been very uncooperative in this endeavor. More things seem to keep popping up that need fixing and that has taken all of his free morning hours. Needless to say, it's still not feeling too well.
Speaking of not feeling too well, Cameron found himself on the verge of pneumonia days before we were supposed to leave. Since my bike has been so time-consuming, and he's been feeling so terrible, he hasn't had time to work on getting his bike ready for the trip to Bakersfield.
So, since he knew it was important for me to see Madeline and my family, he suggested I go on without him, via Greyhound, and he would stay behind to recuperate and get the rest of the wrenching done. Riding a bike with a questionable tire, in windy winter conditions, with a chest cold, for 9 hours, just didn't seem like a wise option.
Fast forward, several days and here I am, wishing I had insisted on renting a car and bringing him here with me. I miss him terribly and he's home alone and miserable. This will not be a repeated performance in the future. All I can do now is try to bring some Christmas home for him and hope that will soothe his battered soul. I'm afraid I haven't had as good a time as hoped, either, due to knowing how upset and lonely Cameron is.
Tomorrow will be a nice day, with most of the family getting together and hanging out. I'll probably do most of the cooking and such, unless Dad arm wrestles me for the job. I think I'm going to need to take a long walk, or get on the treadmill for a while to get rid of the extra calories from the day.
On Friday evening, I'll head back to Phoenix and my lonely family. Cameron says the animals have been more needy and I guess I should be glad that I'm missed. It just makes it harder to be away.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
On Going Home for Christmas
I've been looking forward to seeing everyone at Christmas. I miss the family terribly, especially since this is the first time I've been this far away for so long. I know living away from everyone will get easier with time, but for now, 6 months has seemed far longer.
Cameron hooked up with a couple of local bands when we first got to Phoenix, but it turned out they just didn't have their stuff together. Lots of indecisiveness and being vague as to what they would be doing next made it not worth the effort. At that time, he was going to have a gig during Christmas week so I was going to fly to California and he would join me later.
Well, since the band thing went awry, we are now looking at other options. Rental cars are pretty expensive and so we're currently planning to hop on the bike for the trip. I got a backpack carrier for Tuesday, and the cats will do fine with an extra litter box and lots of food and water. The bike needs new tires and servicing so that's our main focus. At least the money put into the bike will carry over to regular use when we get back.
Ah, the car. It's still sitting in limbo and there's no estimate as to when we will arrive at a decision as to its fate. Probably won't even consider it until after the holidays.
My bike is coming along slowly. Without a garage to work in and less daylight hours, our time is somewhat limited. Add to that exhaustive classes and my bizarre work schedule, it's hard to get much done at a time. We are making progress, though. It will be fantastic to have my own transportation again. I'll definitely be needing some sort of saddlebags and/or tailbag for the bike in order to pick up groceries and such.
I'm starting to look for other work, or at least something extra to bring in more money. With the cutbacks at the store, they have reduced everyone's hours. So, instead of almost 40 a week, I'm getting almost 30. It's just not enough. I've found several possibilities, but that, too, will probably be best taken care of after the holidays. It's hard to take time off at a job you just started.
Phoenix does seem to have a winter, though not as definitive as Albuquerque's. We've had some cold breezy days and chilly nights/mornings. A pronounced difference from the days in the upper 70's just last month. It makes for cold rides to and from work.
I can't help but wonder where we'll go after he graduates. BMW has dealerships all over the world and there's only 2 campuses in the US that train certified mechanics for BMW. Apparently, most graduates have a job waiting for them when they leave MMI, so I guess we'll know some time next summer. I haven't really decided what I want to do after he gets situated and it's my turn to get some new training. I think where we move to will have a great influence on my choices, depending on what is available and our general situation at the time. What lies ahead in the coming months is totally up in the air. The only sure thing is his school, as sure as that can be, anyway.
Cameron hooked up with a couple of local bands when we first got to Phoenix, but it turned out they just didn't have their stuff together. Lots of indecisiveness and being vague as to what they would be doing next made it not worth the effort. At that time, he was going to have a gig during Christmas week so I was going to fly to California and he would join me later.
Well, since the band thing went awry, we are now looking at other options. Rental cars are pretty expensive and so we're currently planning to hop on the bike for the trip. I got a backpack carrier for Tuesday, and the cats will do fine with an extra litter box and lots of food and water. The bike needs new tires and servicing so that's our main focus. At least the money put into the bike will carry over to regular use when we get back.
Ah, the car. It's still sitting in limbo and there's no estimate as to when we will arrive at a decision as to its fate. Probably won't even consider it until after the holidays.
My bike is coming along slowly. Without a garage to work in and less daylight hours, our time is somewhat limited. Add to that exhaustive classes and my bizarre work schedule, it's hard to get much done at a time. We are making progress, though. It will be fantastic to have my own transportation again. I'll definitely be needing some sort of saddlebags and/or tailbag for the bike in order to pick up groceries and such.
I'm starting to look for other work, or at least something extra to bring in more money. With the cutbacks at the store, they have reduced everyone's hours. So, instead of almost 40 a week, I'm getting almost 30. It's just not enough. I've found several possibilities, but that, too, will probably be best taken care of after the holidays. It's hard to take time off at a job you just started.
Phoenix does seem to have a winter, though not as definitive as Albuquerque's. We've had some cold breezy days and chilly nights/mornings. A pronounced difference from the days in the upper 70's just last month. It makes for cold rides to and from work.
I can't help but wonder where we'll go after he graduates. BMW has dealerships all over the world and there's only 2 campuses in the US that train certified mechanics for BMW. Apparently, most graduates have a job waiting for them when they leave MMI, so I guess we'll know some time next summer. I haven't really decided what I want to do after he gets situated and it's my turn to get some new training. I think where we move to will have a great influence on my choices, depending on what is available and our general situation at the time. What lies ahead in the coming months is totally up in the air. The only sure thing is his school, as sure as that can be, anyway.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Alot of Water Under the Bridge, and a Few Boulders
It's been awhile, actually over a month, since my last post.
It got kind of crazy for a while there, and I guess I'm beginning to pull out of slump. You see, first my car started acting like it wasn't going to make it to work, let alone back again. So, I stopped driving it and Cameron had to take me to work. That sometimes meant spending several hours hanging out at a cafe nearby until it was time for my shift to start, or for him to get out of class to pick me up. If I worked 3 to 9:00, he had to drop me off at 12:30 so he could be at school by 1:00, leaving me with a couple of hours to kill. It gave me time to get some computer work done, like writing and such.
Well, that worked out fine for a couple of days, then my laptop got stolen out of the breakroom at work. It does little good to have a combination lock on a door if no one closes it. Hard lesson learned. Fortunately, our renter's insurance covered the laptop as I use it for work, namely writing. It took a few days to get the check and a few more to find a good deal on a replacement.
I'm having a harder time dealing with the lost thoughts and ideas that were stored on that piece of hardware. Naively I hadn't backed up my files, so I lost everything.
Of course, the information is in my head and can probably be regurgitated into something, perhaps better than the original work. But part of me was in that. The beginning of my book was there and in that were my deepest emotions and fears from that first day of "the accident". I laboriously expelled them into the laptop so I could finally let them rest, let myself rest. Someone took that away from me, robbed me of that peace. This weekend I'll start again, perhaps from more of a distance, and this time they will be backed up and safe from harm.
Oh, about the car. Two days after the laptop was stolen, I decided to try to drive the car to work. We were in serious need of groceries and I figured it would make at least one more trip. Well, I was wrong. On the way home from the grocery store, after a late shift, the car suddenly lost power. I was able to nurse it into a parking lot a few blocks away from the store. Unfortunately, I had no cell phone, since it had been in the laptop case when it was stolen, so I walked to a Walgreen's to use a payphone. I really missed my phone. The payphone was very dirty and I had such a poor connection that I could barely hear Cameron when I called him.
Long story short, we eventually got the car picked up by AAA and towed home, groceries and all. The final destiny for the car is yet undetermined. In the inter rem, we have pulled my motorcycle out of storage and Cameron has been hard at work doing repairs. It was damaged about a year ago and never fixed. I'm not sure when it will be ready for me to ride so, since I don't want a replay of the laptop theft, I'm getting a lot of reading done. It's nice, in that sense, since I don't take the time to read much these days, though that may change. I've gotten through several books that I had gotten a couple of years ago, but left on the shelf.
Wow, I just checked the time and it's almost midnight. I hate working the closing shift since it takes me a while to unwind, making my final bedtime late. So, good night and with laptop now in hand, I'll return to more regular postings.
It got kind of crazy for a while there, and I guess I'm beginning to pull out of slump. You see, first my car started acting like it wasn't going to make it to work, let alone back again. So, I stopped driving it and Cameron had to take me to work. That sometimes meant spending several hours hanging out at a cafe nearby until it was time for my shift to start, or for him to get out of class to pick me up. If I worked 3 to 9:00, he had to drop me off at 12:30 so he could be at school by 1:00, leaving me with a couple of hours to kill. It gave me time to get some computer work done, like writing and such.
Well, that worked out fine for a couple of days, then my laptop got stolen out of the breakroom at work. It does little good to have a combination lock on a door if no one closes it. Hard lesson learned. Fortunately, our renter's insurance covered the laptop as I use it for work, namely writing. It took a few days to get the check and a few more to find a good deal on a replacement.
I'm having a harder time dealing with the lost thoughts and ideas that were stored on that piece of hardware. Naively I hadn't backed up my files, so I lost everything.
Of course, the information is in my head and can probably be regurgitated into something, perhaps better than the original work. But part of me was in that. The beginning of my book was there and in that were my deepest emotions and fears from that first day of "the accident". I laboriously expelled them into the laptop so I could finally let them rest, let myself rest. Someone took that away from me, robbed me of that peace. This weekend I'll start again, perhaps from more of a distance, and this time they will be backed up and safe from harm.
Oh, about the car. Two days after the laptop was stolen, I decided to try to drive the car to work. We were in serious need of groceries and I figured it would make at least one more trip. Well, I was wrong. On the way home from the grocery store, after a late shift, the car suddenly lost power. I was able to nurse it into a parking lot a few blocks away from the store. Unfortunately, I had no cell phone, since it had been in the laptop case when it was stolen, so I walked to a Walgreen's to use a payphone. I really missed my phone. The payphone was very dirty and I had such a poor connection that I could barely hear Cameron when I called him.
Long story short, we eventually got the car picked up by AAA and towed home, groceries and all. The final destiny for the car is yet undetermined. In the inter rem, we have pulled my motorcycle out of storage and Cameron has been hard at work doing repairs. It was damaged about a year ago and never fixed. I'm not sure when it will be ready for me to ride so, since I don't want a replay of the laptop theft, I'm getting a lot of reading done. It's nice, in that sense, since I don't take the time to read much these days, though that may change. I've gotten through several books that I had gotten a couple of years ago, but left on the shelf.
Wow, I just checked the time and it's almost midnight. I hate working the closing shift since it takes me a while to unwind, making my final bedtime late. So, good night and with laptop now in hand, I'll return to more regular postings.
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