I'm home and it's late, but at least I did make it home safely. My first Halloween party in 25 years has come and gone. I went as a veterinarian, bandaged stuffed kitty and all. At first it was fun meeting all the people, as I really didn't know anyone there. I had met a couple at a book group meeting several months ago, but it took some memory jogging on both sides. It was put on by a couple who are members of a couple of the local meet-up groups.
The costumes were the usual assortment. A couple of doctors, a ghost, a witch, a hooker, and the the hemlines went up from there. Alcohol was served and the more scantily clad bunch seemed to have had quite their share, and the volume level in the room grew exponentially each hour the evening continued. In fact they're probably still there. Drunks are irritating. There are several kinds: the sleepy ones, the angry/mean ones, the giggly ones, the sloppy ones who seem to find every surface slippery, and, of course, the loud ones. Tonight, we had a roomful of the loud ones.
My throat hurts from trying to carry on conversations with the more sober of the guests. I think this is why I haven't been to a party in all this time. They just aren't that much fun anymore. I went solo, and made quite a few business contacts, before the volume level of the room got too loud to carry on a conversation.
This was a solo event for me as Cameron is at a Navajo "Sweat Lodge" that he was invited to participate in tomorrow night. He went with a friend, by bike, and since it takes about 5-6 hours to get to Gallup from here, they opted for staying an extra night.
I'm exhausted, but I'm stalling going to bed. I'm like that when left alone. I should be dying to pour myself to that nice, soft, mattress. I spent the better part of today shopping for work clothes, specifically shoes. It's terribly hard for me to find comfortable shoes. I think I have a bone spur on the ball of one of my feet that really acts up with the wrong fit. So, anyway, I've been on my feet most of the day, then at the party. After I finish this, I should be unwound enough to get to sleep.
Oh, the work clothes are for my new job. I start sometime next week, have to wait for the drug test results and background check to be finished. I'll be working at Office Max, in the printing area. This, like that dental office job, is within walking distance. It's a little farther down the shopping center than the other, but will give me some much needed exercise.
Once I know my schedule at work, I'll need to make one for my own stuff. I've been so discombobulated from being depressed about the lack of a job. My desk is a mess, I have so much to do to prepare for my first Wild Orchid party, and have begun another potentially fun angle to my podcasts: small group discussion and interview with the author. I've found a lot of interest in this, but will have to gradually build to that. We will need to get headphones for each person (5, counting myself), a microphone holder for the one we currently have. It must have gotten lost in all the moves, and another electronic goody that I can't remember the name of. Cameron will handle the acquisition of these items. The most recent author I interviewed, which was last week, is a nationally acclaimed best selling author. So I asked her if she's ever been interviewed by a group before and she doesn't believe it's being done anywhere, at least not for a podcast. That adds some excitement to the project.
Well, I think I've wound down enough to make it off to bed. I will, of course, keep you posted. Good night!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Busy Day and the Feeling of Empowerment
In contrast to this morning's post, I feel more myself than I have for awhile. I'm moving forward with the business plans, despite a great deal of fear and anxiety, and in turn this has strengthened my resolve to see it succeed. Each person spoken to, each business card handed out, is a small victory. Patience is something I'm going to have to partner with to make it happen. We don't always get along, so this may be a rocky alliance.
I'm not seeing as many "real" jobs posted. It seems the sharks have found Santa Fe to be a good hunting ground. It's frustrating to have to call them on their bogus attempts at reeling the desperate into their clutches. I wonder what they do with all the information they gather about people.
I've been lost in all the moves, and jobs, and different people to try to hang onto as friends. There was only survival and waiting for that date in the future when everything would change again.
Here, there is no date. The only change that will happen will be what we make happen. The longer we wait for that unforeseeable time the more we lose. So, now I take a stand, and claim this place to be our home. No one will be telling us to leave. We decide if and when we make such a change.
We're both slowly making friends. It's hard to do that when everything has been temporary for so long. I'm the one who talks to everyone, but has a hard time maintaining friendships. I've been like that, even when I lived in Bakersfield. I guess for some reason, I keep everyone at arm's length. So the friends thing is taking me longer than Cameron. He's found a couple of good, solid, friends. He can call them and talk with them when he's upset. I'm envious, but will push myself as I have had to, just to be able to speak up for myself, or make my wishes known. It's taken years to get this far from a wall flower in high school.
So with firm ground beneath me, I move myself beyond my comfort zones and step out into the high desert that is my home.
I'm not seeing as many "real" jobs posted. It seems the sharks have found Santa Fe to be a good hunting ground. It's frustrating to have to call them on their bogus attempts at reeling the desperate into their clutches. I wonder what they do with all the information they gather about people.
I've been lost in all the moves, and jobs, and different people to try to hang onto as friends. There was only survival and waiting for that date in the future when everything would change again.
Here, there is no date. The only change that will happen will be what we make happen. The longer we wait for that unforeseeable time the more we lose. So, now I take a stand, and claim this place to be our home. No one will be telling us to leave. We decide if and when we make such a change.
We're both slowly making friends. It's hard to do that when everything has been temporary for so long. I'm the one who talks to everyone, but has a hard time maintaining friendships. I've been like that, even when I lived in Bakersfield. I guess for some reason, I keep everyone at arm's length. So the friends thing is taking me longer than Cameron. He's found a couple of good, solid, friends. He can call them and talk with them when he's upset. I'm envious, but will push myself as I have had to, just to be able to speak up for myself, or make my wishes known. It's taken years to get this far from a wall flower in high school.
So with firm ground beneath me, I move myself beyond my comfort zones and step out into the high desert that is my home.
The Flatness of it All and the Toll That is Paid
It's been almost a year of job hunting. Yes, I did have that one at the mall, the one with the immature supervisor who had no positive things to say about those under her "supervision". But I was trying to jump that ship after a couple of months on it. (Strangely, the company still employs her after she took them for hundreds of dollars while doctoring her time sheets. She's been told "Don't do that again".)
Anyway, hundreds of resumes, applications, and interviews later, here I am. I feel like a lifeless drone, throwing papers to the electronic wind and hoping some of them stick to some processor on someone's desk. There's no face time, unless they call for an interview. 99% of potential employers request no phone calls or surprise visits, just email us your paperwork and we'll be calling whomever looks like the person we want. How do you encapsulate your years of experience and the wisdom gained from that experience, your personality, your enthusiasm for the position into a couple of sheets of paper? I've been in the top 5 more times than I want to think about, only to be told, "Sorry, we found someone with the exact qualifications we're looking for."
Being 49 doesn't help, either. There's a lot of us out roaming the want ads, in search of a piece of the meager salaried positions. Excitement over a request for an interview is curtailed. We show up and put on the face of excitement over the minimum wage pay and the anticipation of being supervised by someone our child's age. We want the job, any job, but cynicism's undercurrent flows on unhindered.
Life just moves on. Highs are flattened by the inevitable "thanks, but no thanks." I know care must be taken to avoid the "self fulfilling prophecy" from this doldrums I'm caught in. So I turn back to focus my energy on the business that has been on life support for the past few months. I got a big order from a friend of mine that gave me the extra cash to purchase the remaining items needed to begin the party circuit. I'm hosting the first one as I figured that would be a good place to hone my skills. I'm not having it at our apartment (for one thing, there's no seating and I've made an open invite to members of a women's group that I joined a while back, so don't really know them that well.) I'll be using the community room at the apartment complex. It's nice, with a little kitchen and comfortable seating.
Having only been here a year and with most of that hunkered down, trying to survive financially, I haven't made many friends. Now, I talk to everyone, but it's a passing thing that is rarely repeated. These are more superficial acquaintances. I have friends from the mall job, but they're in the same boat-barely living paycheck to paycheck. If I can just get a handful of customers, to "infect" with my wonderful products and winning personality, that will begin the viral marketing necessary to operate in Santa Fe. Word of mouth is the top marketing technique. It can make or break a business in a heartbeat.
I'm still keeping the website going, even added an educational page-something that is highly recommended on websites these days. The podcast is moving along and is a tool for my viral marketing. The book has been a recent casualty of all of this flurry. I'm desperately focusing on ways to help support us and haven't been writing the past few weeks. I miss it. I'm consumed with conjuring up new ideas to get the business off the ground on the last bit of shoestring that I have, without looking like it. It's got to be good from the start, and the idea petrifies me. I still push on, creating my own brand and talking to everyone who will listen. I'm carrying business cards and handing them out. Today, my palm pixie will earn its keep so as to record contact info and press for party dates from those excited individuals I run into.
So, I push back the depression, anxiety, desperation, and cynicism that have made their home inside me. Today I pick up the package that's waiting for me, unpack the final items that complete my sample collection, and then go out in search of potential customers.
November is my start month. It gives me time to acquaint myself with the products and create my party persona. There are items to be printed up, in small quantity on my home printer for starters. Photoshop is my friend these days and I've managed to get fairly proficient with it. The necessary wiping of my hard drive really set me back as I'm still trying to locate files that were saved on every memory card we have. Slowly that mess is getting cleaned up.
I think I'm starting to ramble so need to put one foot in front of the other and get to work. I'm hoping for a productive day.
Anyway, hundreds of resumes, applications, and interviews later, here I am. I feel like a lifeless drone, throwing papers to the electronic wind and hoping some of them stick to some processor on someone's desk. There's no face time, unless they call for an interview. 99% of potential employers request no phone calls or surprise visits, just email us your paperwork and we'll be calling whomever looks like the person we want. How do you encapsulate your years of experience and the wisdom gained from that experience, your personality, your enthusiasm for the position into a couple of sheets of paper? I've been in the top 5 more times than I want to think about, only to be told, "Sorry, we found someone with the exact qualifications we're looking for."
Being 49 doesn't help, either. There's a lot of us out roaming the want ads, in search of a piece of the meager salaried positions. Excitement over a request for an interview is curtailed. We show up and put on the face of excitement over the minimum wage pay and the anticipation of being supervised by someone our child's age. We want the job, any job, but cynicism's undercurrent flows on unhindered.
Life just moves on. Highs are flattened by the inevitable "thanks, but no thanks." I know care must be taken to avoid the "self fulfilling prophecy" from this doldrums I'm caught in. So I turn back to focus my energy on the business that has been on life support for the past few months. I got a big order from a friend of mine that gave me the extra cash to purchase the remaining items needed to begin the party circuit. I'm hosting the first one as I figured that would be a good place to hone my skills. I'm not having it at our apartment (for one thing, there's no seating and I've made an open invite to members of a women's group that I joined a while back, so don't really know them that well.) I'll be using the community room at the apartment complex. It's nice, with a little kitchen and comfortable seating.
Having only been here a year and with most of that hunkered down, trying to survive financially, I haven't made many friends. Now, I talk to everyone, but it's a passing thing that is rarely repeated. These are more superficial acquaintances. I have friends from the mall job, but they're in the same boat-barely living paycheck to paycheck. If I can just get a handful of customers, to "infect" with my wonderful products and winning personality, that will begin the viral marketing necessary to operate in Santa Fe. Word of mouth is the top marketing technique. It can make or break a business in a heartbeat.
I'm still keeping the website going, even added an educational page-something that is highly recommended on websites these days. The podcast is moving along and is a tool for my viral marketing. The book has been a recent casualty of all of this flurry. I'm desperately focusing on ways to help support us and haven't been writing the past few weeks. I miss it. I'm consumed with conjuring up new ideas to get the business off the ground on the last bit of shoestring that I have, without looking like it. It's got to be good from the start, and the idea petrifies me. I still push on, creating my own brand and talking to everyone who will listen. I'm carrying business cards and handing them out. Today, my palm pixie will earn its keep so as to record contact info and press for party dates from those excited individuals I run into.
So, I push back the depression, anxiety, desperation, and cynicism that have made their home inside me. Today I pick up the package that's waiting for me, unpack the final items that complete my sample collection, and then go out in search of potential customers.
November is my start month. It gives me time to acquaint myself with the products and create my party persona. There are items to be printed up, in small quantity on my home printer for starters. Photoshop is my friend these days and I've managed to get fairly proficient with it. The necessary wiping of my hard drive really set me back as I'm still trying to locate files that were saved on every memory card we have. Slowly that mess is getting cleaned up.
I think I'm starting to ramble so need to put one foot in front of the other and get to work. I'm hoping for a productive day.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I Think I'm Making Headway...
I'm still in job search mode, but hopeful (again) that a job I interviewed for this morning will come through. The hours are good and there's great potential for future advancement.
I made a really good sale Saturday and think I just might be able to pull some parties together. It'll take a little ingenuity to pull off some of the display pieces I want. (It's amazing how good cardboard looks with satin over it!) I got an amazing buy on a folding table, that folds in the middle, and has wheels so I can pull it along to where ever I need to take it. A while back I got a little folding hand-truck like thing (teachers use them) at a very good clearance price. Now, to make a tablecloth for the table and wait for the ordered items to show up.
My website is filling out nicely and I've added some new pages and lots more items to it. I'm trying very hard to have the patience to wait for the word-of mouth, viral marketing, to work its magic. I hand out business cards everywhere I go and talk to lots of people. Last week I interviewed an author from Australia for my October 15th podcast. My listener numbers are slowly going up on that, as well. It's a non-paying project, but should send the curious to my website, and maybe the curious will buy something?
My book has been on hold for the past week as I was having a terrible time with my computer-no sound. 2 techs. and several on the phone later, couldn't figure out the problem, and eventually recommended wiping my hard drive as there seemed to be something viral or otherwise causing the problem. Well, I've spent several days reconstructing everything and loading my files back into it. My audio works great, which is good since I needed to edit the interview and make it podcast ready.
On this Sunday, I'm going to be helping out with a short independent film as one of many part-time production assistants. It's non paid, but could lead to future paid opportunities, if the director likes my work. He is planning a major film in the future. He is an actor/producer/director (his name is Michael John Gabriel), so who knows what that future holds.
Cameron is feeling more positive these days and has accepted Santa Fe as his home. He's got a group of friends that he rides with on Sunday mornings and on Halloween he has been invited to a special tribal event. I'm not sure what tribe the Shaman is from, who invited Cameron and his friend Scott. All I know is that it's a guy only thing and they'll be sleeping out in the desert. What he has to say when he returns should be interesting. I think Tuesday and I will hang out together and maybe watch some Netflix. (We don't get any trick or treaters here.) I'm very happy he's found some people with similar interests to hang out with.
I feel a change in the wind (or maybe it's just fall) and am hoping it is for the better for us. Being in limbo is difficult and, unfortunately, we're quite familiar with it.
Oh, here's some pictures of my current nemesis, called "Chamisa". Since Santa Fe encourages xeriscaping (not sure of the spelling), the town is covered in native plants. It's quite pretty as something is always blooming, but my allergies aren't too keen on it.
I made a really good sale Saturday and think I just might be able to pull some parties together. It'll take a little ingenuity to pull off some of the display pieces I want. (It's amazing how good cardboard looks with satin over it!) I got an amazing buy on a folding table, that folds in the middle, and has wheels so I can pull it along to where ever I need to take it. A while back I got a little folding hand-truck like thing (teachers use them) at a very good clearance price. Now, to make a tablecloth for the table and wait for the ordered items to show up.
My website is filling out nicely and I've added some new pages and lots more items to it. I'm trying very hard to have the patience to wait for the word-of mouth, viral marketing, to work its magic. I hand out business cards everywhere I go and talk to lots of people. Last week I interviewed an author from Australia for my October 15th podcast. My listener numbers are slowly going up on that, as well. It's a non-paying project, but should send the curious to my website, and maybe the curious will buy something?
My book has been on hold for the past week as I was having a terrible time with my computer-no sound. 2 techs. and several on the phone later, couldn't figure out the problem, and eventually recommended wiping my hard drive as there seemed to be something viral or otherwise causing the problem. Well, I've spent several days reconstructing everything and loading my files back into it. My audio works great, which is good since I needed to edit the interview and make it podcast ready.
On this Sunday, I'm going to be helping out with a short independent film as one of many part-time production assistants. It's non paid, but could lead to future paid opportunities, if the director likes my work. He is planning a major film in the future. He is an actor/producer/director (his name is Michael John Gabriel), so who knows what that future holds.
Cameron is feeling more positive these days and has accepted Santa Fe as his home. He's got a group of friends that he rides with on Sunday mornings and on Halloween he has been invited to a special tribal event. I'm not sure what tribe the Shaman is from, who invited Cameron and his friend Scott. All I know is that it's a guy only thing and they'll be sleeping out in the desert. What he has to say when he returns should be interesting. I think Tuesday and I will hang out together and maybe watch some Netflix. (We don't get any trick or treaters here.) I'm very happy he's found some people with similar interests to hang out with.
I feel a change in the wind (or maybe it's just fall) and am hoping it is for the better for us. Being in limbo is difficult and, unfortunately, we're quite familiar with it.
Oh, here's some pictures of my current nemesis, called "Chamisa". Since Santa Fe encourages xeriscaping (not sure of the spelling), the town is covered in native plants. It's quite pretty as something is always blooming, but my allergies aren't too keen on it.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Trying to Get a Handle On Everything
The last couple of days, I've been reading the book for my upcoming interview. I'm going to record the actual interview Sunday evening, giving me a couple of weeks to edit it and post it on the 15th. It's been a hard book to read and quite long. I'm still not sure what approach to take with the author when we discuss it.
In addition to the reading, I've submitted several resumes/applications this week and made some additions to my website. Yesterday, I went to an address to "apply in person" for a receptionist position. Not knowing what kind of business it was, I was surprised to find that it is a very trendy salon. Wishing I had put on a little more make up or spent a little more time on my hair, I went through the doors. It's a very cool place and everyone is very friendly. I was asked to wait for the business manager. Oh, joy! An on the spot interview! I definitely wished I'd known and did a little more sprucing up. Well, it turns out the manager is fantastic. We had a great talk and he is passing me on to have an interview with the other 2 partners. So, I impressed one, now I wait for the second stage interview. I'm crossing my fingers. He says he prefers to hire people from out of town, because they have a good work ethic. Locals, apparently, are not very dependable.
OK, so that's the situation on the job front. During those last 2 days, I haven't worked on the book very much, since the interview was coming up and the book for that had to be finished. But now, I'm back on it. Not so much writing, but doing what I probably should have done initially-gathering information. I've pulled all my blog entries and am going through the comments. There's too many gaps in my memory and my blog posts for me to be comfortable writing much at this time. Today's job is to finish going through every scrap of emails, blogs, comments, notes, that I can find and enter them into my time line. Since I didn't do this initially, I am going to be going back through my first 7 chapters and making some adjustments; probably beginning some new chapters, as well.
Oh, I'm going to be a non-paid production assistant for an indie film that is being filmed on the 16th and 17th. I met the producer/director on Facebook (Michael John Gabriel) and he asked me if I'd like to fill one of the positions that he still needs people for. He says this is like an audition for future paid work for everyone involved. Sounds like fun, and I did let him know that my schedule may suddenly change if I get a paying job requiring my presence those two days. The Sunday should be fine, it's the Saturday that I'm not sure of. He says there are 4 shifts and I can do one or all four or any combination. So it's pretty loose.
I'm taking on another project, that I hope I can get done fairly quickly and easily. I got burned on my last attempt at bartering website building, in exchange for some tattoo work (he ended up not holding up his end of the bargain and so I had to take it all down). I have made a similar agreement with a friend who does tattoos on the side. Since he has a day job, he does it more for fun, than anything and it has come in handy for him to barter with. He's been professionally doing them for 17 years, but prefers to be able to just do them, now, as he feels like it. He knows the guy that I first did a site for and understands my wariness, but this time, he's doing the work first, then he says I can do the website at my leisure. So, it's a matter of making arrangements and working out the artwork. His site should be quick and easy to put up, since I've already done one. The only aspect that I think is going to give me some trouble is his logo. It's really unusual. As long as he can get me the full artwork, it should be OK.
Oh, tomorrow is another BMW track day. Cameron and I are the official photographers for track day. We get to go hang out on a curve and take pictures of whomever rides by. It can get kind of hot, but we've been having nice weather. Of course, this is taking place a couple thousand feet lower in elevation, so we'll see. Hats and lots of sunscreen! Anyone, who can pay the track fees, can come and use the track that day and the event is sponsored by the BMW dealerships. Employees can ride for free. Cameron has gone on the track a couple of times, but I'm not sure if he'll do it tomorrow.
It's going to be a challenge getting down to Albuquerque and to the track. The annual balloon fiesta is this weekend and is a huge tourist attraction for the region. I'm hoping to be able to see some of them in the air from the track. I will definitely take pictures. I don't know the air patterns around here very well, so have no idea which way they'll go after launch.
Well, it looks like a couple of my emails I sent out asking for archived information from the time of the accident may have been answered. So, back to the timeline! I'll keep you posted about all the crazy stuff I'm doing.
In addition to the reading, I've submitted several resumes/applications this week and made some additions to my website. Yesterday, I went to an address to "apply in person" for a receptionist position. Not knowing what kind of business it was, I was surprised to find that it is a very trendy salon. Wishing I had put on a little more make up or spent a little more time on my hair, I went through the doors. It's a very cool place and everyone is very friendly. I was asked to wait for the business manager. Oh, joy! An on the spot interview! I definitely wished I'd known and did a little more sprucing up. Well, it turns out the manager is fantastic. We had a great talk and he is passing me on to have an interview with the other 2 partners. So, I impressed one, now I wait for the second stage interview. I'm crossing my fingers. He says he prefers to hire people from out of town, because they have a good work ethic. Locals, apparently, are not very dependable.
OK, so that's the situation on the job front. During those last 2 days, I haven't worked on the book very much, since the interview was coming up and the book for that had to be finished. But now, I'm back on it. Not so much writing, but doing what I probably should have done initially-gathering information. I've pulled all my blog entries and am going through the comments. There's too many gaps in my memory and my blog posts for me to be comfortable writing much at this time. Today's job is to finish going through every scrap of emails, blogs, comments, notes, that I can find and enter them into my time line. Since I didn't do this initially, I am going to be going back through my first 7 chapters and making some adjustments; probably beginning some new chapters, as well.
Oh, I'm going to be a non-paid production assistant for an indie film that is being filmed on the 16th and 17th. I met the producer/director on Facebook (Michael John Gabriel) and he asked me if I'd like to fill one of the positions that he still needs people for. He says this is like an audition for future paid work for everyone involved. Sounds like fun, and I did let him know that my schedule may suddenly change if I get a paying job requiring my presence those two days. The Sunday should be fine, it's the Saturday that I'm not sure of. He says there are 4 shifts and I can do one or all four or any combination. So it's pretty loose.
I'm taking on another project, that I hope I can get done fairly quickly and easily. I got burned on my last attempt at bartering website building, in exchange for some tattoo work (he ended up not holding up his end of the bargain and so I had to take it all down). I have made a similar agreement with a friend who does tattoos on the side. Since he has a day job, he does it more for fun, than anything and it has come in handy for him to barter with. He's been professionally doing them for 17 years, but prefers to be able to just do them, now, as he feels like it. He knows the guy that I first did a site for and understands my wariness, but this time, he's doing the work first, then he says I can do the website at my leisure. So, it's a matter of making arrangements and working out the artwork. His site should be quick and easy to put up, since I've already done one. The only aspect that I think is going to give me some trouble is his logo. It's really unusual. As long as he can get me the full artwork, it should be OK.
Oh, tomorrow is another BMW track day. Cameron and I are the official photographers for track day. We get to go hang out on a curve and take pictures of whomever rides by. It can get kind of hot, but we've been having nice weather. Of course, this is taking place a couple thousand feet lower in elevation, so we'll see. Hats and lots of sunscreen! Anyone, who can pay the track fees, can come and use the track that day and the event is sponsored by the BMW dealerships. Employees can ride for free. Cameron has gone on the track a couple of times, but I'm not sure if he'll do it tomorrow.
It's going to be a challenge getting down to Albuquerque and to the track. The annual balloon fiesta is this weekend and is a huge tourist attraction for the region. I'm hoping to be able to see some of them in the air from the track. I will definitely take pictures. I don't know the air patterns around here very well, so have no idea which way they'll go after launch.
Well, it looks like a couple of my emails I sent out asking for archived information from the time of the accident may have been answered. So, back to the timeline! I'll keep you posted about all the crazy stuff I'm doing.
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