Long Day and Thoughts About Balance

Today was one of the longest I've had in a while.  Nothing especially happened.  It just was exhaustingly long.

Perhaps it was because yesterday and today I worked day shifts, rather than my usual evenings.  I was downing energy drinks as I passed through the front doors and they did little to quell my yawning.  Then, when I got off and anticipated getting some things done on my website, I got home and promptly napped for a couple of hours. It made the day feel wasted.

Normally, I have the day to take care of errands, work on business things, and a little housework.  I guess I don't notice how exhausted I am from work since I just hit the sack when I get home afterwards.  Unfortunately, Cameron and I are on different schedules when he works.  He goes off to work as I get up to begin my day of activities, then when I am leaving for work, he has just gotten home.  I'm kind of thankful he doesn't work every day, especially when my days off (usually in the middle of the week) coincide with days he only works a half day or maybe not at all.

I've been re-constructing my website and so it was down for several weeks.  I've been putting a lot of time into stocking products, and deciding what of the "old" site I want to remain and what needs to go.  Time and energy, as usual, are difficult things to work with when they don't agree on which will demand my being .  Some days the entire day is stretched out in front of me, full of promising activity, but I haven't the energy to deal with it.  Then others don't offer the time, but my head is swimming with ideas I want to implement.

It's like a balancing act.  Energy on one hand, time on the other, and demands on both are sitting atop my head.  I know part of the energy thing is occasional bouts of depression that seem to leak through the defenses of my medications.  Time slips away when the energy is dim.  Perhaps they go together so well that they both belong in the same hand, which would leave the demands in the other.  Hmmm... Again, I am left with the inability to deal with the matters on one hand, without disrupting the grasp I have on the items on the other hand.

It's a good thing I like challenges, because that one's a doozie!  (Haven't heard that one in a while, huh?)

Ah, what has been going on with us, as an update is long overdue.

Cameron has been busily working on a second album, his first has sold a few and a couple of stores are carrying it. It's jazz/blues/with a little something else.  Unfortunately, I lack the proper musical vocabulary to come up with a word for the something else.  If you would like to listen to some of his work, you can go to his reverb nation page: http://www.reverbnation.com/cameronweckerley. It's been an interesting experience watching/listening to how his ideas formulate into music, and how that music becomes a finished piece, that is then incorporated into an album with other pieces that have undergone the same transformation.  I would think it's a similar process to bringing ideas to some other fruition, but this is observable.  The steps, the adjustments, are exposed and the music explodes from a set of notes to so much more.  Fascinating!

I find myself constantly exploding with ideas.  They go down on paper and are stared at for further inspiration.  A maze is in front of me that I must get through to bring idea to a reality.  Some of the ideas stay nothing more than the scribbles on the paper.  Many are thought through and brought to conclusion-on paper-but that balancing act makes it hard to bring them off the paper.  Time + Energy < demands.

I think when a person turns 50, the "service engine light" comes on somewhere (I'll leave the location to your imagination).  It's time for the 100,000 mile check up and the warranty is long gone.  It's been a rough year, so far for health related issues.  Removal of the kidney stone was a welcome relief.  It's amazing what a little 8-9mm rock can do to your body, when it plants itself in the wrong place.  I felt so much better, for about 2 weeks.  Then the really nasty flu that has been going around, grabbed me by the throat and wrestled me to the ground.  It took a couple of weeks to recover from that match.  Next, my doctor found a mass near my right ovary.  Are we having fun, yet?!  More tests and a visit to a specialist next week.  Everything looks benign and there are several possible treatments that can be done in office.  I'll find out more next week.  And let's see...it's only April.  My knees are the next item on the list, after the abdominal issues are handled.  Now, my knees are not a new problem.  They have been an on-going issue for years, but they're getting more and more painful.  Got a referral to an orthopedic dr. and orders for xrays and mri.  First things first, though, let's get the other thing handled first.

OK, let's get out of the negatives.  Spring has been showing it face all over town.  In our apartment complex, most of the trees are beginning to sprout little green leaves.  The cottonwoods have been dropping their elongated flowers all over the place.  It's interesting, the longer they stay on the ground, the purplier they get.  That leaves a purple stain on the sidewalks.  The cottonwoods are the only tree, that I have noticed, around our complex that have not sprouted the leaf buds.  The blue spruces are looking very stately and healthy, and the sweetgum are farthest along with their leaves.  Of course, all over town the junipers are blooming.  Few people are left unscathed by their power to invoke an allergic reaction.  Red and teary eyed people are everywhere.  Sneezes, sniffles, and stuffy heads abound.  The business to be in would be tissue manufacturing.  They fly off the shelves around here.  Especially because after the junipers do their thing, lavenders and the big yellow chamisa bushes attack the already weakened systems of those of us who have plant allergies.  Hail to the antihistamines and decongestants!

We went on a little motorcycle ride last weekend (I actually had a Saturday off!) up to Hyde Park.  It's at a higher elevation and there were patches of slushy snow here and there.  The place looked so stark, compared to the last time we were up there, which was fall.  That's when the aspens change color and the hills are covered with yellow, orange and brown patches. It was a nice change and the first ride I've taken since the one last fall.  It was nice to be able to spend the time together to just enjoy the scenery and the winding roads up the mountain.

Well, the nap gave me a little burst of energy, but it's now late. At least I don't report for work until 11:00am tomorrow!