Our struggling in Santa Fe may be nearing an end.
After trying to avoid returning to the school systems, that's exactly what we're in the process of doing. Cameron took up substituting in the city schools a few months before the school year ended. During that time, he received training for a summer school science program. After meeting with the director of the program, the first day, he was reassigned to work with him to compose a soundtrack for a commercial instructional video, featuring the director. If you have ever seen Bill Nigh The Science Guy, it is along those lines. It was an intense 2 weeks of solid composing and meetings with the director, but the end product was fantastic.
He has been watching for a music teaching position in the area, but so far, nothing has opened up. So he will return to substitute teaching when school starts. I guess I have been digging my heels in, more than he. When the whole "No Child Left Behind" fiasco was enacted, it messed up the education system more than ever. It kind of soured me on teaching, then after obtaining my master's in school counseling, I found there were few positions in the Bakersfield area school system. In much of the country, counselors were not able to use the majority of the skills they had learned, focusing on scheduling, and other such duties. That added a new frustration.
There is a national movement among the National School Counselors Association, affecting school systems throughout the US, that utilizes more of school counselors' skills and moves more of the clerical duties to other personnel. With that bright spot, I am in the process of jumping through the multitude of hoops that New Mexico has in place, in order to obtain a reciprocal school counselor license for this state. I've gotten everything in order and will be submitting my application this week. At this point, I don't see any openings with the city schools, especially since it is so close to school starting, but there may be more as the year progresses. In the meantime, I will be substitute teaching, as well.
Working at OfficeMax has been a royal pain, literally, and I just cannot do it anymore. The varying hours, the low pay, and pain I have after every shift isn't worth it. So, off we both go, back into the schools. Cameron already has a 6 month temporary position as a kindergarten teacher, yes, you read it correctly. Scenes from Kindergarten Cop come to mind, but we'll not go there.
On another note, the weather has been much different this year than last. I'm told that El Nino years are much drier than other years, like last year. It's been a windier, drier, warmer year and I'm not so sure I like it, but loved last year. Longer residents say it varies from year to year so I guess we'll see what materializes in the next one. I still love the 4 seasons, but greatly miss the ocean. Cameron and I frequently reminisce about our past motorcycle rides up to Big Sur or Morro Bay; the ocean breeze and rocky cliffs.
My daughter, Madeline, is getting married in November. I haven't seen my family in a couple of years and it will be good to see them. It sounds like they'll be staying in Bakersfield for a while as they are talking about buying a house. They sure grow up fast. I see little kids daily and each reminds me of times when she was their age. I find myself reminiscing about her a lot lately, bragging to those who will listen. I guess it's all part of the process of life, but it's taking me awhile to be comfortable with it. I turned 50 this year. Wow, seeing it in writing is a little scary. Madeline turned 21 and is getting married. All are milestones and have come faster than expected. I think seeing everything from the outside changes the perspective. Since I'm no longer physically close to family, I don't see/experience the gradual changes taking place over time. I don't know how it will be to pay a visit for the wedding. There will be people attending that I haven't seen in years. I'll be a visitor to the place I once called home.
I will post more when there is anything new.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Being Handed the Keys to my Direction
The past couple of months have been laced with insanity. Fear, could'ves, should'ves, would'ves, I felt like there was nowhere to go but down in flames. I kept looking around me for some sort of answers, "Tell me what I'm supposed to do?" All I could hear was my past laughing at me, and my future hiding in a corner, terrified. The apparently sinking ship that we were riding on had taken on a lot of water and we had no idea as to how to fix the leak.
Over the past week, the wind has changed direction. The storm is over and we can see the beautiful sunrise to our east. The ship is still taking on water, but that isn't as important as catching that glimpse of sunrise. To stop, smell the sea air and take inventory of our situation.
I know, now, that even when it storms, the boat isn't going to sink and it will only take on so much water. An old soul I spoke with while the wind was dying down, showed me that all of those could've, should've, would'ves, needn't be tied to the sides of the boat. Releasing them would lighten the load and renew some of the ship's buoyancy. I'm working very hard to cut the ropes that hold them in place. Some have their own buoyancy and are tagging alongside the ship. Others have fallen into the depths of the ocean.
I find that I'm hearing seagulls and the slapping of the waves against the sides of the boat. The gulls are telling me that we are closing on land, but we just can't see it yet. My goal is to reach that land, but it will take effort to do so. I don't make plans. I just consider the path that I am traversing towards my goal-that is what the old soul taught me.
Plans suggest that you know what is going to happen, and so you set up the steps to the plans. Unfortunately, plans change and get out of control. They can make the dark clouds seem darker and the rain harder.
To have goals is to accept the changing ebb of the water, but to keep my eyes towards the direction of land. If I don't, I might miss the signs and the gulls will stop coming. I merely make small adjustments as the situation changes; changing with it, but keeping my eye watchful for more signs of land. I know it is out there, the gulls are still here, even increasing in number.
We will find land and it will have what we need to attain our next goal, and so on. All that we need to reach our goals is there to be found, but we must be vigilant and watch for the times that require us to take action and fight to keep moving in the direction of our goals.
Someday, the things that are floating alongside the boat, will slowly sink into the abyss and be forgotten. Until then, their presence sometimes haunts me and I find myself staring at them, watching them bob in the water. They are still near, but can't reach me anymore. That's a gift from the old soul, to find inner peace where the storm rages, and the same peace when it is calm, because I am safe, now, and those bobbing things are only that-bobbing things in the water.
Over the past week, the wind has changed direction. The storm is over and we can see the beautiful sunrise to our east. The ship is still taking on water, but that isn't as important as catching that glimpse of sunrise. To stop, smell the sea air and take inventory of our situation.
I know, now, that even when it storms, the boat isn't going to sink and it will only take on so much water. An old soul I spoke with while the wind was dying down, showed me that all of those could've, should've, would'ves, needn't be tied to the sides of the boat. Releasing them would lighten the load and renew some of the ship's buoyancy. I'm working very hard to cut the ropes that hold them in place. Some have their own buoyancy and are tagging alongside the ship. Others have fallen into the depths of the ocean.
I find that I'm hearing seagulls and the slapping of the waves against the sides of the boat. The gulls are telling me that we are closing on land, but we just can't see it yet. My goal is to reach that land, but it will take effort to do so. I don't make plans. I just consider the path that I am traversing towards my goal-that is what the old soul taught me.
Plans suggest that you know what is going to happen, and so you set up the steps to the plans. Unfortunately, plans change and get out of control. They can make the dark clouds seem darker and the rain harder.
To have goals is to accept the changing ebb of the water, but to keep my eyes towards the direction of land. If I don't, I might miss the signs and the gulls will stop coming. I merely make small adjustments as the situation changes; changing with it, but keeping my eye watchful for more signs of land. I know it is out there, the gulls are still here, even increasing in number.
We will find land and it will have what we need to attain our next goal, and so on. All that we need to reach our goals is there to be found, but we must be vigilant and watch for the times that require us to take action and fight to keep moving in the direction of our goals.
Someday, the things that are floating alongside the boat, will slowly sink into the abyss and be forgotten. Until then, their presence sometimes haunts me and I find myself staring at them, watching them bob in the water. They are still near, but can't reach me anymore. That's a gift from the old soul, to find inner peace where the storm rages, and the same peace when it is calm, because I am safe, now, and those bobbing things are only that-bobbing things in the water.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Long Day and Thoughts About Balance
Today was one of the longest I've had in a while. Nothing especially happened. It just was exhaustingly long.
Perhaps it was because yesterday and today I worked day shifts, rather than my usual evenings. I was downing energy drinks as I passed through the front doors and they did little to quell my yawning. Then, when I got off and anticipated getting some things done on my website, I got home and promptly napped for a couple of hours. It made the day feel wasted.
Normally, I have the day to take care of errands, work on business things, and a little housework. I guess I don't notice how exhausted I am from work since I just hit the sack when I get home afterwards. Unfortunately, Cameron and I are on different schedules when he works. He goes off to work as I get up to begin my day of activities, then when I am leaving for work, he has just gotten home. I'm kind of thankful he doesn't work every day, especially when my days off (usually in the middle of the week) coincide with days he only works a half day or maybe not at all.
I've been re-constructing my website and so it was down for several weeks. I've been putting a lot of time into stocking products, and deciding what of the "old" site I want to remain and what needs to go. Time and energy, as usual, are difficult things to work with when they don't agree on which will demand my being . Some days the entire day is stretched out in front of me, full of promising activity, but I haven't the energy to deal with it. Then others don't offer the time, but my head is swimming with ideas I want to implement.
It's like a balancing act. Energy on one hand, time on the other, and demands on both are sitting atop my head. I know part of the energy thing is occasional bouts of depression that seem to leak through the defenses of my medications. Time slips away when the energy is dim. Perhaps they go together so well that they both belong in the same hand, which would leave the demands in the other. Hmmm... Again, I am left with the inability to deal with the matters on one hand, without disrupting the grasp I have on the items on the other hand.
It's a good thing I like challenges, because that one's a doozie! (Haven't heard that one in a while, huh?)
Ah, what has been going on with us, as an update is long overdue.
Cameron has been busily working on a second album, his first has sold a few and a couple of stores are carrying it. It's jazz/blues/with a little something else. Unfortunately, I lack the proper musical vocabulary to come up with a word for the something else. If you would like to listen to some of his work, you can go to his reverb nation page: http://www.reverbnation.com/cameronweckerley. It's been an interesting experience watching/listening to how his ideas formulate into music, and how that music becomes a finished piece, that is then incorporated into an album with other pieces that have undergone the same transformation. I would think it's a similar process to bringing ideas to some other fruition, but this is observable. The steps, the adjustments, are exposed and the music explodes from a set of notes to so much more. Fascinating!
I find myself constantly exploding with ideas. They go down on paper and are stared at for further inspiration. A maze is in front of me that I must get through to bring idea to a reality. Some of the ideas stay nothing more than the scribbles on the paper. Many are thought through and brought to conclusion-on paper-but that balancing act makes it hard to bring them off the paper. Time + Energy < demands.
I think when a person turns 50, the "service engine light" comes on somewhere (I'll leave the location to your imagination). It's time for the 100,000 mile check up and the warranty is long gone. It's been a rough year, so far for health related issues. Removal of the kidney stone was a welcome relief. It's amazing what a little 8-9mm rock can do to your body, when it plants itself in the wrong place. I felt so much better, for about 2 weeks. Then the really nasty flu that has been going around, grabbed me by the throat and wrestled me to the ground. It took a couple of weeks to recover from that match. Next, my doctor found a mass near my right ovary. Are we having fun, yet?! More tests and a visit to a specialist next week. Everything looks benign and there are several possible treatments that can be done in office. I'll find out more next week. And let's see...it's only April. My knees are the next item on the list, after the abdominal issues are handled. Now, my knees are not a new problem. They have been an on-going issue for years, but they're getting more and more painful. Got a referral to an orthopedic dr. and orders for xrays and mri. First things first, though, let's get the other thing handled first.
OK, let's get out of the negatives. Spring has been showing it face all over town. In our apartment complex, most of the trees are beginning to sprout little green leaves. The cottonwoods have been dropping their elongated flowers all over the place. It's interesting, the longer they stay on the ground, the purplier they get. That leaves a purple stain on the sidewalks. The cottonwoods are the only tree, that I have noticed, around our complex that have not sprouted the leaf buds. The blue spruces are looking very stately and healthy, and the sweetgum are farthest along with their leaves. Of course, all over town the junipers are blooming. Few people are left unscathed by their power to invoke an allergic reaction. Red and teary eyed people are everywhere. Sneezes, sniffles, and stuffy heads abound. The business to be in would be tissue manufacturing. They fly off the shelves around here. Especially because after the junipers do their thing, lavenders and the big yellow chamisa bushes attack the already weakened systems of those of us who have plant allergies. Hail to the antihistamines and decongestants!
We went on a little motorcycle ride last weekend (I actually had a Saturday off!) up to Hyde Park. It's at a higher elevation and there were patches of slushy snow here and there. The place looked so stark, compared to the last time we were up there, which was fall. That's when the aspens change color and the hills are covered with yellow, orange and brown patches. It was a nice change and the first ride I've taken since the one last fall. It was nice to be able to spend the time together to just enjoy the scenery and the winding roads up the mountain.
Well, the nap gave me a little burst of energy, but it's now late. At least I don't report for work until 11:00am tomorrow!
Perhaps it was because yesterday and today I worked day shifts, rather than my usual evenings. I was downing energy drinks as I passed through the front doors and they did little to quell my yawning. Then, when I got off and anticipated getting some things done on my website, I got home and promptly napped for a couple of hours. It made the day feel wasted.
Normally, I have the day to take care of errands, work on business things, and a little housework. I guess I don't notice how exhausted I am from work since I just hit the sack when I get home afterwards. Unfortunately, Cameron and I are on different schedules when he works. He goes off to work as I get up to begin my day of activities, then when I am leaving for work, he has just gotten home. I'm kind of thankful he doesn't work every day, especially when my days off (usually in the middle of the week) coincide with days he only works a half day or maybe not at all.
I've been re-constructing my website and so it was down for several weeks. I've been putting a lot of time into stocking products, and deciding what of the "old" site I want to remain and what needs to go. Time and energy, as usual, are difficult things to work with when they don't agree on which will demand my being . Some days the entire day is stretched out in front of me, full of promising activity, but I haven't the energy to deal with it. Then others don't offer the time, but my head is swimming with ideas I want to implement.
It's like a balancing act. Energy on one hand, time on the other, and demands on both are sitting atop my head. I know part of the energy thing is occasional bouts of depression that seem to leak through the defenses of my medications. Time slips away when the energy is dim. Perhaps they go together so well that they both belong in the same hand, which would leave the demands in the other. Hmmm... Again, I am left with the inability to deal with the matters on one hand, without disrupting the grasp I have on the items on the other hand.
It's a good thing I like challenges, because that one's a doozie! (Haven't heard that one in a while, huh?)
Ah, what has been going on with us, as an update is long overdue.
Cameron has been busily working on a second album, his first has sold a few and a couple of stores are carrying it. It's jazz/blues/with a little something else. Unfortunately, I lack the proper musical vocabulary to come up with a word for the something else. If you would like to listen to some of his work, you can go to his reverb nation page: http://www.reverbnation.com/cameronweckerley. It's been an interesting experience watching/listening to how his ideas formulate into music, and how that music becomes a finished piece, that is then incorporated into an album with other pieces that have undergone the same transformation. I would think it's a similar process to bringing ideas to some other fruition, but this is observable. The steps, the adjustments, are exposed and the music explodes from a set of notes to so much more. Fascinating!
I find myself constantly exploding with ideas. They go down on paper and are stared at for further inspiration. A maze is in front of me that I must get through to bring idea to a reality. Some of the ideas stay nothing more than the scribbles on the paper. Many are thought through and brought to conclusion-on paper-but that balancing act makes it hard to bring them off the paper. Time + Energy < demands.
I think when a person turns 50, the "service engine light" comes on somewhere (I'll leave the location to your imagination). It's time for the 100,000 mile check up and the warranty is long gone. It's been a rough year, so far for health related issues. Removal of the kidney stone was a welcome relief. It's amazing what a little 8-9mm rock can do to your body, when it plants itself in the wrong place. I felt so much better, for about 2 weeks. Then the really nasty flu that has been going around, grabbed me by the throat and wrestled me to the ground. It took a couple of weeks to recover from that match. Next, my doctor found a mass near my right ovary. Are we having fun, yet?! More tests and a visit to a specialist next week. Everything looks benign and there are several possible treatments that can be done in office. I'll find out more next week. And let's see...it's only April. My knees are the next item on the list, after the abdominal issues are handled. Now, my knees are not a new problem. They have been an on-going issue for years, but they're getting more and more painful. Got a referral to an orthopedic dr. and orders for xrays and mri. First things first, though, let's get the other thing handled first.
OK, let's get out of the negatives. Spring has been showing it face all over town. In our apartment complex, most of the trees are beginning to sprout little green leaves. The cottonwoods have been dropping their elongated flowers all over the place. It's interesting, the longer they stay on the ground, the purplier they get. That leaves a purple stain on the sidewalks. The cottonwoods are the only tree, that I have noticed, around our complex that have not sprouted the leaf buds. The blue spruces are looking very stately and healthy, and the sweetgum are farthest along with their leaves. Of course, all over town the junipers are blooming. Few people are left unscathed by their power to invoke an allergic reaction. Red and teary eyed people are everywhere. Sneezes, sniffles, and stuffy heads abound. The business to be in would be tissue manufacturing. They fly off the shelves around here. Especially because after the junipers do their thing, lavenders and the big yellow chamisa bushes attack the already weakened systems of those of us who have plant allergies. Hail to the antihistamines and decongestants!
We went on a little motorcycle ride last weekend (I actually had a Saturday off!) up to Hyde Park. It's at a higher elevation and there were patches of slushy snow here and there. The place looked so stark, compared to the last time we were up there, which was fall. That's when the aspens change color and the hills are covered with yellow, orange and brown patches. It was a nice change and the first ride I've taken since the one last fall. It was nice to be able to spend the time together to just enjoy the scenery and the winding roads up the mountain.
Well, the nap gave me a little burst of energy, but it's now late. At least I don't report for work until 11:00am tomorrow!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Riding the H2O Train
I've passed the 1 week mark, since the surgery, and am still having some discomfort. Should't I be done with all this by now, and feeling great?! Or am I just being impatient?
I chug about 4+ liters of water a day; it seems like that would be enough to irrigate every impurity from my body.
Oh well, I will try to be patient and see what the Dr. has to say at my upcoming appt.
In the meantime, job hunting continues, for both of us. Who knows where we'll be next fall? We could be set in some decent jobs, here, in Santa Fe, or off to another state. Either way, it will be nice to be in a different "place" than we have been.
There are signs of the on-coming of Spring, that I noticed while walking Tuesday this afternoon. First of all, the temperatures are beginning to climb above freezing, though there are still patches of ice and snow in shady areas. I actually saw some closed leaf buds on a couple of trees, and some little green shoots coming out of a crook in another tree. It kind of looks like the grass in some areas is making a try at coming back. Poor Tuesday hunted around the grassy areas searching for grass to eat. All she found were some semi-green blades scattered among all the brown ones.
We're pretty much ready for spring, though that tends to be a windy time and my allergies go nuts! Being able to put the big coat and boots away until next year, along with the extra warm tops and thermals, will be nice. Cameron can go back to his regular motorcycle rides with his "Hooligans" friends and I won't have to worry about slipping and falling when I cross the arroyo on the way to work. (It's like a natural drainage area that is about 7 ft. below ground level so there are slopes on both sides.) Lately, I've been taking the car since all the snow along the path has turned to ice.
I've joined a women's group called The Girlfriends of Santa Fe. It's one of the meet-up groups in the area. I've only gone to a couple of get-togethers, so far. Alot of the members are quite well off and plan things like dinner out at one of the expensive restaurants, or a museum trip, etc. I can handle the coffee-house ones and book discussions. Well, in March, one of the members is hosting a knitting and crocheting group. I tried both in elementary/jr. high, but just couldn't keep the tension even on the yarn. This sounds like a very informative and fun time. I have a friend at work who wants to go, as well I'm thinking that taking one of these up will give me some relaxation time, not to mention some new friends and social life. I'm considering another one that is being hosted by someone who is a life coach. She doing a meeting geared just for women. I could use some direction and have lots of internal junk that either needs to be tossed or organized. Perhaps my brain cloudiness will improve somewhat with the organization and focus in one direction.
Well, Tuesday is giving me "the look" and sighing, meaning it's time to go out so I'll stop here.
I chug about 4+ liters of water a day; it seems like that would be enough to irrigate every impurity from my body.
Oh well, I will try to be patient and see what the Dr. has to say at my upcoming appt.
In the meantime, job hunting continues, for both of us. Who knows where we'll be next fall? We could be set in some decent jobs, here, in Santa Fe, or off to another state. Either way, it will be nice to be in a different "place" than we have been.
There are signs of the on-coming of Spring, that I noticed while walking Tuesday this afternoon. First of all, the temperatures are beginning to climb above freezing, though there are still patches of ice and snow in shady areas. I actually saw some closed leaf buds on a couple of trees, and some little green shoots coming out of a crook in another tree. It kind of looks like the grass in some areas is making a try at coming back. Poor Tuesday hunted around the grassy areas searching for grass to eat. All she found were some semi-green blades scattered among all the brown ones.
We're pretty much ready for spring, though that tends to be a windy time and my allergies go nuts! Being able to put the big coat and boots away until next year, along with the extra warm tops and thermals, will be nice. Cameron can go back to his regular motorcycle rides with his "Hooligans" friends and I won't have to worry about slipping and falling when I cross the arroyo on the way to work. (It's like a natural drainage area that is about 7 ft. below ground level so there are slopes on both sides.) Lately, I've been taking the car since all the snow along the path has turned to ice.
I've joined a women's group called The Girlfriends of Santa Fe. It's one of the meet-up groups in the area. I've only gone to a couple of get-togethers, so far. Alot of the members are quite well off and plan things like dinner out at one of the expensive restaurants, or a museum trip, etc. I can handle the coffee-house ones and book discussions. Well, in March, one of the members is hosting a knitting and crocheting group. I tried both in elementary/jr. high, but just couldn't keep the tension even on the yarn. This sounds like a very informative and fun time. I have a friend at work who wants to go, as well I'm thinking that taking one of these up will give me some relaxation time, not to mention some new friends and social life. I'm considering another one that is being hosted by someone who is a life coach. She doing a meeting geared just for women. I could use some direction and have lots of internal junk that either needs to be tossed or organized. Perhaps my brain cloudiness will improve somewhat with the organization and focus in one direction.
Well, Tuesday is giving me "the look" and sighing, meaning it's time to go out so I'll stop here.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Lots of snow, great time to stay in bed.
It's been snowing off and on since about 6pm yesterday and more is expected today and tomorrow. Normally, I'd be ecstatic about it, but I've been feeling exhausted and depressed so much these past few months.
Today, I'm working a full 8 hours. I'm not sure if I can last for that long of a shift. You see, the kidney stone that's been causing me periodic grief is being removed (actually pulverized) on Thursday. It's impact on my health over the past months has been very evident and it's time to evict the unwanted guest. The past week I've been more and more exhausted, needing a nap before I go to work in the evening. That helps tremendously.
Today and tomorrow, I open. That means being there from 8-5. At least when I work the closing shift, I can rest before going in at 4 or 5pm. I'm hoping the snow will keep customers away so they start letting people go home early. For now, there's just a feeling of dread.
I'll let you know how the whole kidney thing goes. It's out-patient, but I won't be released to go back to work until Monday.
Till then!
Patti
Today, I'm working a full 8 hours. I'm not sure if I can last for that long of a shift. You see, the kidney stone that's been causing me periodic grief is being removed (actually pulverized) on Thursday. It's impact on my health over the past months has been very evident and it's time to evict the unwanted guest. The past week I've been more and more exhausted, needing a nap before I go to work in the evening. That helps tremendously.
Today and tomorrow, I open. That means being there from 8-5. At least when I work the closing shift, I can rest before going in at 4 or 5pm. I'm hoping the snow will keep customers away so they start letting people go home early. For now, there's just a feeling of dread.
I'll let you know how the whole kidney thing goes. It's out-patient, but I won't be released to go back to work until Monday.
Till then!
Patti
Saturday, January 8, 2011
More Changes and Challenges Ahead
Sometimes I feel like I'm taking one, loooonnggg, test. Of what subject or part of my person is being tested, I'm not sure. I just don't seem to be choosing the correct answers. At least give me some study quides to work with, or maybe the book to read, before testing me. It kind of feels unfair to be expected to know the correct answers, when the questions keep popping up as unanswerable because there was no way to study.
Our current trial is the loss of Cameron's job. They let him go a couple of days ago due to, "the elimination of his position". Thus, our household vacillates between moments of sheer panic, depression, and the quest for the elusive answer to "what's next?"
At least I still have my job, though I'm looking into making some changes for positions with a higher financial gain. Someone has offered me a part-time job caring for his mentally disabled sister a couple of days a week, at $5 more an hour than I'm currently making. Another customer at the store I work at has asked me to stop by a clothing store, downtown, that he and his wife own. He only needs someone for Sundays, but that would pay $3 more an hour than I currently make. I could, then, fill in the rest of the week with hours at my current job.
I don't make enough for us to survive here very long. My pay supplemented his, and even at that we scraped by just barely. Santa Fe has been a struggle since we moved here and it just seems like this is not the place for us.
Cameron wants to get back to his musical roots and degrees, so is applying at community colleges to teach music. A catch: most are hiring for the fall, so what do we do in between? If he were to get hired by one of the colleges, would it be better to find temporary work there, and move out of costly Santa Fe? That depends of the cost of living where he will be working. Then there's the breaking of our lease (which we had just renewed in Sept.) at a cost of 2 extra month's rent. How does one come up with moving costs and deposits at a new abode, when the old one is reaching so deeply into your empty pocket?
This compounds the stress and anxiety over what we are to do. At the moment, we are going one day at a time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring or what new information will be learned? I talk with a lot of the customers and learn about their trials and tribulations in finding "that place" where they feel they are supposed to be. That's also, how I found out about these other jobs. You can't learn without asking questions and watching the world around you go through the motions of life.
I'm trying to keep my business and podcast going, but my hours have varied so much, from week to week, it's hard to plan and I'm often too exhausted to want to deal with it. I have a very talented writer slated for my Jan. 15th show, but I haven't interviewed her yet, and will need some time to edit it. I guess I will be busy working on that on my upcoming days off, Mon. and Tues. At least the interviews are fun and I love meeting new people. It will be a nice break from this very long week (50 hours) that I'm just coming off of.
Our animals are reacting to our stress. Poor JarJar has taken to pulling out his hair on his sides. Allie seems particularly needy, and Tuesday seems confused and sad each day I leave for work, begging me to stay and snuggle with her, in bed. They are so sensitive to our moods.
I guess one of the hardest parts of all of this, at least for me, is the not knowing what we're going to be doing. I've always been the one to plan our next moves, based on what I know about where we are going or the statistics associated with a particular place. This time it's completely out of my hands. It all hinges on who will hire him. Financially, we'll be much better off, after we catch up with the bills that will follow us. I just hate the unknown. It scares me and that often triggers other emotions. I'm trying to turn that fear into anger. Anger is a great mobilizer and keeps me from turning into a puddle of anxiety and depression.
Cameron has made some very supportive friends, here. I think both are AA members and they nudge him to meetings or on motorcycle rides when they see him getting into a pattern of depression. They share their strength with him and show him sunlight when all he wants to do is stay in darkness. Wherever we go, they will be the part of Santa Fe that is missed.
It's getting late and I have to be at work tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep. Thank you for your continued support through our often insane lives. It helps to keep us moving forward.
Our current trial is the loss of Cameron's job. They let him go a couple of days ago due to, "the elimination of his position". Thus, our household vacillates between moments of sheer panic, depression, and the quest for the elusive answer to "what's next?"
At least I still have my job, though I'm looking into making some changes for positions with a higher financial gain. Someone has offered me a part-time job caring for his mentally disabled sister a couple of days a week, at $5 more an hour than I'm currently making. Another customer at the store I work at has asked me to stop by a clothing store, downtown, that he and his wife own. He only needs someone for Sundays, but that would pay $3 more an hour than I currently make. I could, then, fill in the rest of the week with hours at my current job.
I don't make enough for us to survive here very long. My pay supplemented his, and even at that we scraped by just barely. Santa Fe has been a struggle since we moved here and it just seems like this is not the place for us.
Cameron wants to get back to his musical roots and degrees, so is applying at community colleges to teach music. A catch: most are hiring for the fall, so what do we do in between? If he were to get hired by one of the colleges, would it be better to find temporary work there, and move out of costly Santa Fe? That depends of the cost of living where he will be working. Then there's the breaking of our lease (which we had just renewed in Sept.) at a cost of 2 extra month's rent. How does one come up with moving costs and deposits at a new abode, when the old one is reaching so deeply into your empty pocket?
This compounds the stress and anxiety over what we are to do. At the moment, we are going one day at a time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring or what new information will be learned? I talk with a lot of the customers and learn about their trials and tribulations in finding "that place" where they feel they are supposed to be. That's also, how I found out about these other jobs. You can't learn without asking questions and watching the world around you go through the motions of life.
I'm trying to keep my business and podcast going, but my hours have varied so much, from week to week, it's hard to plan and I'm often too exhausted to want to deal with it. I have a very talented writer slated for my Jan. 15th show, but I haven't interviewed her yet, and will need some time to edit it. I guess I will be busy working on that on my upcoming days off, Mon. and Tues. At least the interviews are fun and I love meeting new people. It will be a nice break from this very long week (50 hours) that I'm just coming off of.
Our animals are reacting to our stress. Poor JarJar has taken to pulling out his hair on his sides. Allie seems particularly needy, and Tuesday seems confused and sad each day I leave for work, begging me to stay and snuggle with her, in bed. They are so sensitive to our moods.
I guess one of the hardest parts of all of this, at least for me, is the not knowing what we're going to be doing. I've always been the one to plan our next moves, based on what I know about where we are going or the statistics associated with a particular place. This time it's completely out of my hands. It all hinges on who will hire him. Financially, we'll be much better off, after we catch up with the bills that will follow us. I just hate the unknown. It scares me and that often triggers other emotions. I'm trying to turn that fear into anger. Anger is a great mobilizer and keeps me from turning into a puddle of anxiety and depression.
Cameron has made some very supportive friends, here. I think both are AA members and they nudge him to meetings or on motorcycle rides when they see him getting into a pattern of depression. They share their strength with him and show him sunlight when all he wants to do is stay in darkness. Wherever we go, they will be the part of Santa Fe that is missed.
It's getting late and I have to be at work tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep. Thank you for your continued support through our often insane lives. It helps to keep us moving forward.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The Up Hill Climb Just Never Ends
I'm in the middle of my 4th week at Office Max and have gotten my first paycheck last week. That came and went down the hole left by me being out of work for 3 months. Cameron is getting paid extra for playing music for some sort of special event hosted by the BMW dealership, but, that too is going towards filling in the holes. I even had to pull money from my business account to help out during that period.
I fear our timing for "starting over" was horribly ill-timed. Santa Fe is an expensive place to live in many ways and the wages seem high to an outsider but the cost to live hear is higher than we expected. With no alternative currently in sight, we keep trudging up the hill.
Through costly trial and error, I think I have a handle on how to do business here. I've tried pushing the online sales, but haven't had the time or energy to put all the items up on the website, and have only had 2 sales from it. I tried catalog sales, but as this is the land of tomorrow, the excited customers who took my catalogs home, never followed through and now those catalogs are lost. Now, I'm going with the party circuit. I've made some fairly good sales, but still not enough to recover from the past few months. I had to purchase items for demonstrations, some rather costly, as well as all the display related items. The parties seem to be a good way to go for now. I have a captive audience and the group drive to make a purchase seems to encourage the "tomorrow" people to buy now.
One cool thing about being in this industry as an independent retailer is that I'm not tied to any particular company, thus, I can order from any one I choose. For example, I've been working with a blanket company to create an indoor waterproof blanket. They have focused on outdoor ones for years and toyed with the idea of making an indoor one but hadn't made the move. Now they are and I give direct recommendations for feel and uses and they listen! They are based just outside of Seattle and all the blankets are US made. Very high quality. Another project in the works is with a local salon that makes gift baskets for their customers and they include products like mine. Unfortunately for them, a very pretty looking line caught their eyes some time ago, but the products are not especially good to use. Now they are trying to get rid of them and want something new to offer customers. One more thing in the works is a connection with a company who makes pasties. I already carry a beautiful line of them, but in order to re-use them, you must have the proper glue. While searching for a source for the glue, I stumbled upon this company that make them and even does custom ones. They have no problem with retailers putting their own brand name on them, either. I am expecting a sample package of their work any day now.
Future plans include the Gay Pride festival in June. A huge money maker, but stock is definitely needed, especially the impulse buy kind. A friend of mine does club nights at local bars and said I could set up a table there. Items $20 and under for quick purchases will be best for that. Unfortunately, he has stopped for the winter and won't be starting up again until late spring. A woman who is a hotel concierge at one of the local places in town, recommended that I make up gift baskets that they can keep on site. Most run about $75, but if mine were nice and only in the $35 range, they would be very popular. These all require stock on hand. A big investment. Now that I'm employed again, perhaps that is a possibility, yet.
As far as my job is concerned. It's OK, but the hours are killing me. I've never understood why they have to assign different hours each week. I never know what my hours will be until Saturday afternoon, when they post the schedule for the next week. It makes planning a nightmare and the business difficult to focus on. I'm keeping my eyes open for a job with regular hours so I can make greater headway on the business and not be so exhausted all the time. (Back to back shifts should be illegal. Closing the store at close to 10pm one day and opening at 8am the next is brutal.) It takes me awhile to unwind after closing so bedtime is usually about 11pm. Not much time for anything near a relaxing night. One really cool aspect of my job is that lots of artists come to the print center to make note cards of their work or some other item. I get to see the work of many local artists and usually I can get an autographed copy of whatever they brought in. I enjoy meeting all the different people, but I have to watch my visiting, though I find them fascinating.
Caffeine is a good friend of mine these days.
Cameron is doing pretty well. For someone who is not a people person, he does amazingly well with the customers and establishing a rapport with them. He had a lot of cleaning up to do when he first started as the prior service advisor had really done his part to lower the rating on this dealership, not to mention a bit of a paperwork fiasco that took months to fix. It's been hard on him much of the time, but he keeps plugging along. Now that they know his skills as a musician, he gets to play at several of the big promotional events that are held, two of them this week. Today he'll be in Albuquerque and since I have the day off, I'll get to go and be the photographer and general support person. It should be interesting. Yesterday they had the same event up here, at the Santa Fe dealership. It's funny, they're willing to pay him decently for doing musician work, but not for the job he currently does. It's a very weird way of doing things.
I'm very excited that Madeline, my daughter, and her fiance' are coming to visit at Christmas. It will be nice to have her around for brief time she is here, not to mention being able to meet my future son-in-law. I hope we get some snow for them. It's been a very dry winter, so far. Little rain and only a very light dusting of snow on a couple of occasions. Quite a lot of wind, though. A very big difference from last year and rather disappointing. There's still lots of possible snow days so we'll hope for some in the near future.
My car is in terrible need of repairs such as tires, brakes and an oil change. All of which are way overdue and out of any perceived budget. Cameron has worked out a deal with another mechanic and friend down in Albuquerque who has an older Toyota Tercel that he has gone through and serviced every thing. It has less mileage than mine does and he wants to trade it for the engine from the crashed bike. We've hauled that thing with us through every move and I am looking forward to getting rid of it. We'll probably keep the Saturn and gradually get it up to a safer level of care, and have it as a back up vehicle. One thing that is cheap here is vehicle registration. Just a flat $45 for each vehicle, no matter how old or new it is. Much better than California's which is based on vehicle value. What that has to do with wear and tear on the roads is beyond me. Santa Fe doesn't have any emissions checks, like Albuquerque does, which is also nice.
Well, this is enough for now. I wish my spirits were better and I try my best to look to the future, but like a little kid, the present keeps tugging on me for attention.
I fear our timing for "starting over" was horribly ill-timed. Santa Fe is an expensive place to live in many ways and the wages seem high to an outsider but the cost to live hear is higher than we expected. With no alternative currently in sight, we keep trudging up the hill.
Through costly trial and error, I think I have a handle on how to do business here. I've tried pushing the online sales, but haven't had the time or energy to put all the items up on the website, and have only had 2 sales from it. I tried catalog sales, but as this is the land of tomorrow, the excited customers who took my catalogs home, never followed through and now those catalogs are lost. Now, I'm going with the party circuit. I've made some fairly good sales, but still not enough to recover from the past few months. I had to purchase items for demonstrations, some rather costly, as well as all the display related items. The parties seem to be a good way to go for now. I have a captive audience and the group drive to make a purchase seems to encourage the "tomorrow" people to buy now.
One cool thing about being in this industry as an independent retailer is that I'm not tied to any particular company, thus, I can order from any one I choose. For example, I've been working with a blanket company to create an indoor waterproof blanket. They have focused on outdoor ones for years and toyed with the idea of making an indoor one but hadn't made the move. Now they are and I give direct recommendations for feel and uses and they listen! They are based just outside of Seattle and all the blankets are US made. Very high quality. Another project in the works is with a local salon that makes gift baskets for their customers and they include products like mine. Unfortunately for them, a very pretty looking line caught their eyes some time ago, but the products are not especially good to use. Now they are trying to get rid of them and want something new to offer customers. One more thing in the works is a connection with a company who makes pasties. I already carry a beautiful line of them, but in order to re-use them, you must have the proper glue. While searching for a source for the glue, I stumbled upon this company that make them and even does custom ones. They have no problem with retailers putting their own brand name on them, either. I am expecting a sample package of their work any day now.
Future plans include the Gay Pride festival in June. A huge money maker, but stock is definitely needed, especially the impulse buy kind. A friend of mine does club nights at local bars and said I could set up a table there. Items $20 and under for quick purchases will be best for that. Unfortunately, he has stopped for the winter and won't be starting up again until late spring. A woman who is a hotel concierge at one of the local places in town, recommended that I make up gift baskets that they can keep on site. Most run about $75, but if mine were nice and only in the $35 range, they would be very popular. These all require stock on hand. A big investment. Now that I'm employed again, perhaps that is a possibility, yet.
As far as my job is concerned. It's OK, but the hours are killing me. I've never understood why they have to assign different hours each week. I never know what my hours will be until Saturday afternoon, when they post the schedule for the next week. It makes planning a nightmare and the business difficult to focus on. I'm keeping my eyes open for a job with regular hours so I can make greater headway on the business and not be so exhausted all the time. (Back to back shifts should be illegal. Closing the store at close to 10pm one day and opening at 8am the next is brutal.) It takes me awhile to unwind after closing so bedtime is usually about 11pm. Not much time for anything near a relaxing night. One really cool aspect of my job is that lots of artists come to the print center to make note cards of their work or some other item. I get to see the work of many local artists and usually I can get an autographed copy of whatever they brought in. I enjoy meeting all the different people, but I have to watch my visiting, though I find them fascinating.
Caffeine is a good friend of mine these days.
Cameron is doing pretty well. For someone who is not a people person, he does amazingly well with the customers and establishing a rapport with them. He had a lot of cleaning up to do when he first started as the prior service advisor had really done his part to lower the rating on this dealership, not to mention a bit of a paperwork fiasco that took months to fix. It's been hard on him much of the time, but he keeps plugging along. Now that they know his skills as a musician, he gets to play at several of the big promotional events that are held, two of them this week. Today he'll be in Albuquerque and since I have the day off, I'll get to go and be the photographer and general support person. It should be interesting. Yesterday they had the same event up here, at the Santa Fe dealership. It's funny, they're willing to pay him decently for doing musician work, but not for the job he currently does. It's a very weird way of doing things.
I'm very excited that Madeline, my daughter, and her fiance' are coming to visit at Christmas. It will be nice to have her around for brief time she is here, not to mention being able to meet my future son-in-law. I hope we get some snow for them. It's been a very dry winter, so far. Little rain and only a very light dusting of snow on a couple of occasions. Quite a lot of wind, though. A very big difference from last year and rather disappointing. There's still lots of possible snow days so we'll hope for some in the near future.
My car is in terrible need of repairs such as tires, brakes and an oil change. All of which are way overdue and out of any perceived budget. Cameron has worked out a deal with another mechanic and friend down in Albuquerque who has an older Toyota Tercel that he has gone through and serviced every thing. It has less mileage than mine does and he wants to trade it for the engine from the crashed bike. We've hauled that thing with us through every move and I am looking forward to getting rid of it. We'll probably keep the Saturn and gradually get it up to a safer level of care, and have it as a back up vehicle. One thing that is cheap here is vehicle registration. Just a flat $45 for each vehicle, no matter how old or new it is. Much better than California's which is based on vehicle value. What that has to do with wear and tear on the roads is beyond me. Santa Fe doesn't have any emissions checks, like Albuquerque does, which is also nice.
Well, this is enough for now. I wish my spirits were better and I try my best to look to the future, but like a little kid, the present keeps tugging on me for attention.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Muscle Strain, But That, Too, Shall Pass
I tend to get a little "preachy" when people talk about relationships being nothing but trouble, or the people involved seem to always have "bad luck" when it comes to marriages. I'm on my third, so I hope I've learned a thing or two along the way to this point in my life.
My first one was dead before it started. Neither one of us knew anything about what it took to have a working marriage. Let alone keeping any kind of relationship together. (Of course, it didn't help that he took his guidance from his over controlling father, but that's another story.)
My second was based on the "I can change him theory", long proven to be a bogus ploy created by people who like to torture each other.
These first experiences taught me several things, one important lesson was that it takes two people to have a relationship, more specifically, two people who want to put the sweat into it, working side by side to keep it alive and well. Relationships must be nurtured along and cared for. They can't take care of themselves, even when they are beyond their infancy they are unable to weather changing tides and blizzards without help. It sometimes takes work, that 4-lettered word that sends some people packing.
This leads me to my current, and final, marriage. This time I was lucky enough to stumble upon a man who had understood the need for constant nurturing for a marriage to last; taking classes and reading about all the different tools that can help in the maintenance of a relationship. Fortunately for me, apparently his prior mate had been lost in her own world and was unresponsive to his new-found knowledge.
A rare find, I have handled him with care because he is a gem, all by himself. No need for me to try polishing him to make him shiny or to hide him because I don't like what I see in my reflection when I'm with him. He knows the value of working on, maintaining, a relationship. We've been doing a little extra work lately. It's been a while since I've done this much work and my muscles are sore and stiff. But as with any hard work towards a common goal, the aches and pain will subside and the fruits of all this labor will shine nicely again.
There are times I really pity the woman who couldn't see the sparkle in front of her, but was distracted by other shiny things. But then, again, if she had seen it, I wouldn't be where I am today, and for that I am thankful.
My first one was dead before it started. Neither one of us knew anything about what it took to have a working marriage. Let alone keeping any kind of relationship together. (Of course, it didn't help that he took his guidance from his over controlling father, but that's another story.)
My second was based on the "I can change him theory", long proven to be a bogus ploy created by people who like to torture each other.
These first experiences taught me several things, one important lesson was that it takes two people to have a relationship, more specifically, two people who want to put the sweat into it, working side by side to keep it alive and well. Relationships must be nurtured along and cared for. They can't take care of themselves, even when they are beyond their infancy they are unable to weather changing tides and blizzards without help. It sometimes takes work, that 4-lettered word that sends some people packing.
This leads me to my current, and final, marriage. This time I was lucky enough to stumble upon a man who had understood the need for constant nurturing for a marriage to last; taking classes and reading about all the different tools that can help in the maintenance of a relationship. Fortunately for me, apparently his prior mate had been lost in her own world and was unresponsive to his new-found knowledge.
A rare find, I have handled him with care because he is a gem, all by himself. No need for me to try polishing him to make him shiny or to hide him because I don't like what I see in my reflection when I'm with him. He knows the value of working on, maintaining, a relationship. We've been doing a little extra work lately. It's been a while since I've done this much work and my muscles are sore and stiff. But as with any hard work towards a common goal, the aches and pain will subside and the fruits of all this labor will shine nicely again.
There are times I really pity the woman who couldn't see the sparkle in front of her, but was distracted by other shiny things. But then, again, if she had seen it, I wouldn't be where I am today, and for that I am thankful.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Alone and All Over the Place
Well, this is the first night of Cameron's visit with his family, in Tennessee. It's always the hardest. The apartment feels strangely empty, despite the 4-legged beasties that roam its rooms. I'm anxious and don't want to go the empty (OK, so the critters are there waiting for me) bed.
I'm not totally clear on this, but I think that "lone wolf" trip he was on when the accident happened, was the first time we had been apart. We even had a great time when we were stranded for a couple of weeks in northern California. We wrote and wrote together and never tired of each other's company. We've been an amazing team since we first met.
Maybe that's why it's so hard to be apart. That lack of his presence, the void created is more than just in the physical air around me. I guess we have this yin and yang thing going with us. We fulfill each other's needs without having to think about it.
Tomorrow night will be better, a little easier. The first night, though, is hard. It's like having to re-orient myself to temporarily losing use of a limb. Equilibrium is off at first and learning to move about without it takes some adjustments and confidence rebuilt.
I know this is all depressing and such, but it's the first night separation anxiety, if you need to give it a name. I know I will do better tomorrow and once asleep, I won't realize he's not there. It's taking that first step to going to sleep that's the hardest.
Well, I'll regret it if I don't turn in now. It's late and my sleep meds should make fast work of sending me off to dreamland.
Good Night!
I'm not totally clear on this, but I think that "lone wolf" trip he was on when the accident happened, was the first time we had been apart. We even had a great time when we were stranded for a couple of weeks in northern California. We wrote and wrote together and never tired of each other's company. We've been an amazing team since we first met.
Maybe that's why it's so hard to be apart. That lack of his presence, the void created is more than just in the physical air around me. I guess we have this yin and yang thing going with us. We fulfill each other's needs without having to think about it.
Tomorrow night will be better, a little easier. The first night, though, is hard. It's like having to re-orient myself to temporarily losing use of a limb. Equilibrium is off at first and learning to move about without it takes some adjustments and confidence rebuilt.
I know this is all depressing and such, but it's the first night separation anxiety, if you need to give it a name. I know I will do better tomorrow and once asleep, I won't realize he's not there. It's taking that first step to going to sleep that's the hardest.
Well, I'll regret it if I don't turn in now. It's late and my sleep meds should make fast work of sending me off to dreamland.
Good Night!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A Day Off, From Work at Least
Well, my first 2 days are past and I have today off. It's a little overwhelming at times remembering the instructions given (I now have a pad to write everything down on). I've mostly been working in the back of the store in the printing department. I like it there as I meet so many interesting people and get to do to desktop publishing, which I really enjoy. This picture was given to me by an artist who was making note cards of his latest creation:
He was very interesting, as you might have guessed, and very thankful for my assistance. We get lots of artists who com in to do the same thing or to order them professionally done. I got a copy of a beautiful photo of a small suspension bridge, which I would add to this post, but my scanner can't scan that large of a photo. The bridge is over 80 years old and still in use, though I'd be hard-pressed to drive over the thing, let alone walk it!
I'm being cross-trained so I can be used in whatever department they want me in, but I've already gotten a following of several customers that ask for me by name, back in the print area.
Since today is my day off, I have tons of things to do, so should start into them. I'm excited about the gift of this picture, received yesterday, and just wanted to share it with you. Perhaps I'll write more later today.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Quest for Sleep and the Start of a New Day
I have terrible insomnia. Allergies don't exactly help it, when it comes to being able to breathe at night. So, lately, my pre-bedtime ritual includes my sleep medication, and a dose of allergy meds., and sometimes whatever else I can think of that might give me another hour or two of sleep. This has been going on for weeks, now.
We need to replace the air cleaner that we usually run in the bedroom at night, but that will need to wait until my first paycheck. The poor thing has given its all for me for almost 20 years. We've managed to limp it along for a few months, but it's time to let it be and not attempt to resuscitate it any more. In the meantime, I sneeze, cough, and attempt to breathe all night. There are many culprits to this condition. One is plain old dust. The other is my allergy to the cats. At first they slept at my feet and were mostly an annoyance when I wanted to shift position. Now, they are taking to sleeping right up near my head or beside my pillow. I suppose we could/should just lock the critters out of the bedroom at night, but they have grown up sleeping with Cameron, and now me, so that would be a very big issue to contend with. I don't have any problems with dog dander, so Tuesday's snuggling doesn't bother me.
On our list of pending expenditures is some furniture. Since we moved sooo much, we really trimmed down on what we have. Since, I believe, we'll be here for awhile, it's time to begin replacing some of the items left behind. Dressers for the bedroom, and a couch for the livingroom are top on the list. It's hard to dust clothes that are on shelves or open tubs. So, I think with some of these items obtained, my night time issues will be greatly reduced.
Ok, about the job. Let's see, I was hired over 2 weeks ago and set off for drug testing and a background check was to be done. Well, Friday, the manager finally called me and said everything was squared away and that I should come in today at 11:00. I'm not sure how long my shift will be or what kind of schedule I'll have, except that it's 25-30 hour a week. We'll be discussing that today. After I'm done writing this, I'm going to see if I can squeeze in a little nap, before I need to get ready. I've been awake since 3:00am and up since 4:00. More sleep would be really nice.
I have a great deal of interest being shown for having parties, but none have scheduled anything yet. So much for Santa Fe and the land of tomorrow! Once I have an idea of what my schedule will be, I'll be setting off to nail down some of those prospective party hosts to some sort of date and time. I need to get some items that really speak to the gay/lesbian crowd, as my prospective customers are of that community. I currently have a fair collection of sample items that are more generic. That's another thing to add to my list. My first party was kind of wimpy so hasn't given me much to work with, plus, I'm working with a company that makes blankets and is based in Washington. They make some incredibly soft fleece blankets that look/feel like some kind of thick, curly, lamb's wool, with one side covered in a soft, waterproof nylon. I'm considering adding those to my line of offerings-a sample is on its way. I especially like that they're US made and not by some third-world country. There is another distributor that sells a similar water-proof type blanket, but it's very much synthetic and with a somewhat tacky/porn look to it. Not to mention, they are the same price and I wouldn't be competing with my distributor over sales. It has some promise. I am continually on the look out for products that would appeal to my customers, but is different from what other, similar, businesses sell.
My podcast is doing well. I just uploaded my 8th show and the interview is with a national best-selling author, editor, speaker, and cupcake connoisseur. She's a lot of fun to talk with. One reason I do these podcasts is out of the joy of meeting new people and hearing their stories.
Well, looking at the time, I need to try to get a little more sleep before I have to start getting ready for work. I'll let you know how it goes.
We need to replace the air cleaner that we usually run in the bedroom at night, but that will need to wait until my first paycheck. The poor thing has given its all for me for almost 20 years. We've managed to limp it along for a few months, but it's time to let it be and not attempt to resuscitate it any more. In the meantime, I sneeze, cough, and attempt to breathe all night. There are many culprits to this condition. One is plain old dust. The other is my allergy to the cats. At first they slept at my feet and were mostly an annoyance when I wanted to shift position. Now, they are taking to sleeping right up near my head or beside my pillow. I suppose we could/should just lock the critters out of the bedroom at night, but they have grown up sleeping with Cameron, and now me, so that would be a very big issue to contend with. I don't have any problems with dog dander, so Tuesday's snuggling doesn't bother me.
On our list of pending expenditures is some furniture. Since we moved sooo much, we really trimmed down on what we have. Since, I believe, we'll be here for awhile, it's time to begin replacing some of the items left behind. Dressers for the bedroom, and a couch for the livingroom are top on the list. It's hard to dust clothes that are on shelves or open tubs. So, I think with some of these items obtained, my night time issues will be greatly reduced.
Ok, about the job. Let's see, I was hired over 2 weeks ago and set off for drug testing and a background check was to be done. Well, Friday, the manager finally called me and said everything was squared away and that I should come in today at 11:00. I'm not sure how long my shift will be or what kind of schedule I'll have, except that it's 25-30 hour a week. We'll be discussing that today. After I'm done writing this, I'm going to see if I can squeeze in a little nap, before I need to get ready. I've been awake since 3:00am and up since 4:00. More sleep would be really nice.
I have a great deal of interest being shown for having parties, but none have scheduled anything yet. So much for Santa Fe and the land of tomorrow! Once I have an idea of what my schedule will be, I'll be setting off to nail down some of those prospective party hosts to some sort of date and time. I need to get some items that really speak to the gay/lesbian crowd, as my prospective customers are of that community. I currently have a fair collection of sample items that are more generic. That's another thing to add to my list. My first party was kind of wimpy so hasn't given me much to work with, plus, I'm working with a company that makes blankets and is based in Washington. They make some incredibly soft fleece blankets that look/feel like some kind of thick, curly, lamb's wool, with one side covered in a soft, waterproof nylon. I'm considering adding those to my line of offerings-a sample is on its way. I especially like that they're US made and not by some third-world country. There is another distributor that sells a similar water-proof type blanket, but it's very much synthetic and with a somewhat tacky/porn look to it. Not to mention, they are the same price and I wouldn't be competing with my distributor over sales. It has some promise. I am continually on the look out for products that would appeal to my customers, but is different from what other, similar, businesses sell.
My podcast is doing well. I just uploaded my 8th show and the interview is with a national best-selling author, editor, speaker, and cupcake connoisseur. She's a lot of fun to talk with. One reason I do these podcasts is out of the joy of meeting new people and hearing their stories.
Well, looking at the time, I need to try to get a little more sleep before I have to start getting ready for work. I'll let you know how it goes.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I Remember Why I, Now
I'm home and it's late, but at least I did make it home safely. My first Halloween party in 25 years has come and gone. I went as a veterinarian, bandaged stuffed kitty and all. At first it was fun meeting all the people, as I really didn't know anyone there. I had met a couple at a book group meeting several months ago, but it took some memory jogging on both sides. It was put on by a couple who are members of a couple of the local meet-up groups.
The costumes were the usual assortment. A couple of doctors, a ghost, a witch, a hooker, and the the hemlines went up from there. Alcohol was served and the more scantily clad bunch seemed to have had quite their share, and the volume level in the room grew exponentially each hour the evening continued. In fact they're probably still there. Drunks are irritating. There are several kinds: the sleepy ones, the angry/mean ones, the giggly ones, the sloppy ones who seem to find every surface slippery, and, of course, the loud ones. Tonight, we had a roomful of the loud ones.
My throat hurts from trying to carry on conversations with the more sober of the guests. I think this is why I haven't been to a party in all this time. They just aren't that much fun anymore. I went solo, and made quite a few business contacts, before the volume level of the room got too loud to carry on a conversation.
This was a solo event for me as Cameron is at a Navajo "Sweat Lodge" that he was invited to participate in tomorrow night. He went with a friend, by bike, and since it takes about 5-6 hours to get to Gallup from here, they opted for staying an extra night.
I'm exhausted, but I'm stalling going to bed. I'm like that when left alone. I should be dying to pour myself to that nice, soft, mattress. I spent the better part of today shopping for work clothes, specifically shoes. It's terribly hard for me to find comfortable shoes. I think I have a bone spur on the ball of one of my feet that really acts up with the wrong fit. So, anyway, I've been on my feet most of the day, then at the party. After I finish this, I should be unwound enough to get to sleep.
Oh, the work clothes are for my new job. I start sometime next week, have to wait for the drug test results and background check to be finished. I'll be working at Office Max, in the printing area. This, like that dental office job, is within walking distance. It's a little farther down the shopping center than the other, but will give me some much needed exercise.
Once I know my schedule at work, I'll need to make one for my own stuff. I've been so discombobulated from being depressed about the lack of a job. My desk is a mess, I have so much to do to prepare for my first Wild Orchid party, and have begun another potentially fun angle to my podcasts: small group discussion and interview with the author. I've found a lot of interest in this, but will have to gradually build to that. We will need to get headphones for each person (5, counting myself), a microphone holder for the one we currently have. It must have gotten lost in all the moves, and another electronic goody that I can't remember the name of. Cameron will handle the acquisition of these items. The most recent author I interviewed, which was last week, is a nationally acclaimed best selling author. So I asked her if she's ever been interviewed by a group before and she doesn't believe it's being done anywhere, at least not for a podcast. That adds some excitement to the project.
Well, I think I've wound down enough to make it off to bed. I will, of course, keep you posted. Good night!
The costumes were the usual assortment. A couple of doctors, a ghost, a witch, a hooker, and the the hemlines went up from there. Alcohol was served and the more scantily clad bunch seemed to have had quite their share, and the volume level in the room grew exponentially each hour the evening continued. In fact they're probably still there. Drunks are irritating. There are several kinds: the sleepy ones, the angry/mean ones, the giggly ones, the sloppy ones who seem to find every surface slippery, and, of course, the loud ones. Tonight, we had a roomful of the loud ones.
My throat hurts from trying to carry on conversations with the more sober of the guests. I think this is why I haven't been to a party in all this time. They just aren't that much fun anymore. I went solo, and made quite a few business contacts, before the volume level of the room got too loud to carry on a conversation.
This was a solo event for me as Cameron is at a Navajo "Sweat Lodge" that he was invited to participate in tomorrow night. He went with a friend, by bike, and since it takes about 5-6 hours to get to Gallup from here, they opted for staying an extra night.
I'm exhausted, but I'm stalling going to bed. I'm like that when left alone. I should be dying to pour myself to that nice, soft, mattress. I spent the better part of today shopping for work clothes, specifically shoes. It's terribly hard for me to find comfortable shoes. I think I have a bone spur on the ball of one of my feet that really acts up with the wrong fit. So, anyway, I've been on my feet most of the day, then at the party. After I finish this, I should be unwound enough to get to sleep.
Oh, the work clothes are for my new job. I start sometime next week, have to wait for the drug test results and background check to be finished. I'll be working at Office Max, in the printing area. This, like that dental office job, is within walking distance. It's a little farther down the shopping center than the other, but will give me some much needed exercise.
Once I know my schedule at work, I'll need to make one for my own stuff. I've been so discombobulated from being depressed about the lack of a job. My desk is a mess, I have so much to do to prepare for my first Wild Orchid party, and have begun another potentially fun angle to my podcasts: small group discussion and interview with the author. I've found a lot of interest in this, but will have to gradually build to that. We will need to get headphones for each person (5, counting myself), a microphone holder for the one we currently have. It must have gotten lost in all the moves, and another electronic goody that I can't remember the name of. Cameron will handle the acquisition of these items. The most recent author I interviewed, which was last week, is a nationally acclaimed best selling author. So I asked her if she's ever been interviewed by a group before and she doesn't believe it's being done anywhere, at least not for a podcast. That adds some excitement to the project.
Well, I think I've wound down enough to make it off to bed. I will, of course, keep you posted. Good night!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Busy Day and the Feeling of Empowerment
In contrast to this morning's post, I feel more myself than I have for awhile. I'm moving forward with the business plans, despite a great deal of fear and anxiety, and in turn this has strengthened my resolve to see it succeed. Each person spoken to, each business card handed out, is a small victory. Patience is something I'm going to have to partner with to make it happen. We don't always get along, so this may be a rocky alliance.
I'm not seeing as many "real" jobs posted. It seems the sharks have found Santa Fe to be a good hunting ground. It's frustrating to have to call them on their bogus attempts at reeling the desperate into their clutches. I wonder what they do with all the information they gather about people.
I've been lost in all the moves, and jobs, and different people to try to hang onto as friends. There was only survival and waiting for that date in the future when everything would change again.
Here, there is no date. The only change that will happen will be what we make happen. The longer we wait for that unforeseeable time the more we lose. So, now I take a stand, and claim this place to be our home. No one will be telling us to leave. We decide if and when we make such a change.
We're both slowly making friends. It's hard to do that when everything has been temporary for so long. I'm the one who talks to everyone, but has a hard time maintaining friendships. I've been like that, even when I lived in Bakersfield. I guess for some reason, I keep everyone at arm's length. So the friends thing is taking me longer than Cameron. He's found a couple of good, solid, friends. He can call them and talk with them when he's upset. I'm envious, but will push myself as I have had to, just to be able to speak up for myself, or make my wishes known. It's taken years to get this far from a wall flower in high school.
So with firm ground beneath me, I move myself beyond my comfort zones and step out into the high desert that is my home.
I'm not seeing as many "real" jobs posted. It seems the sharks have found Santa Fe to be a good hunting ground. It's frustrating to have to call them on their bogus attempts at reeling the desperate into their clutches. I wonder what they do with all the information they gather about people.
I've been lost in all the moves, and jobs, and different people to try to hang onto as friends. There was only survival and waiting for that date in the future when everything would change again.
Here, there is no date. The only change that will happen will be what we make happen. The longer we wait for that unforeseeable time the more we lose. So, now I take a stand, and claim this place to be our home. No one will be telling us to leave. We decide if and when we make such a change.
We're both slowly making friends. It's hard to do that when everything has been temporary for so long. I'm the one who talks to everyone, but has a hard time maintaining friendships. I've been like that, even when I lived in Bakersfield. I guess for some reason, I keep everyone at arm's length. So the friends thing is taking me longer than Cameron. He's found a couple of good, solid, friends. He can call them and talk with them when he's upset. I'm envious, but will push myself as I have had to, just to be able to speak up for myself, or make my wishes known. It's taken years to get this far from a wall flower in high school.
So with firm ground beneath me, I move myself beyond my comfort zones and step out into the high desert that is my home.
The Flatness of it All and the Toll That is Paid
It's been almost a year of job hunting. Yes, I did have that one at the mall, the one with the immature supervisor who had no positive things to say about those under her "supervision". But I was trying to jump that ship after a couple of months on it. (Strangely, the company still employs her after she took them for hundreds of dollars while doctoring her time sheets. She's been told "Don't do that again".)
Anyway, hundreds of resumes, applications, and interviews later, here I am. I feel like a lifeless drone, throwing papers to the electronic wind and hoping some of them stick to some processor on someone's desk. There's no face time, unless they call for an interview. 99% of potential employers request no phone calls or surprise visits, just email us your paperwork and we'll be calling whomever looks like the person we want. How do you encapsulate your years of experience and the wisdom gained from that experience, your personality, your enthusiasm for the position into a couple of sheets of paper? I've been in the top 5 more times than I want to think about, only to be told, "Sorry, we found someone with the exact qualifications we're looking for."
Being 49 doesn't help, either. There's a lot of us out roaming the want ads, in search of a piece of the meager salaried positions. Excitement over a request for an interview is curtailed. We show up and put on the face of excitement over the minimum wage pay and the anticipation of being supervised by someone our child's age. We want the job, any job, but cynicism's undercurrent flows on unhindered.
Life just moves on. Highs are flattened by the inevitable "thanks, but no thanks." I know care must be taken to avoid the "self fulfilling prophecy" from this doldrums I'm caught in. So I turn back to focus my energy on the business that has been on life support for the past few months. I got a big order from a friend of mine that gave me the extra cash to purchase the remaining items needed to begin the party circuit. I'm hosting the first one as I figured that would be a good place to hone my skills. I'm not having it at our apartment (for one thing, there's no seating and I've made an open invite to members of a women's group that I joined a while back, so don't really know them that well.) I'll be using the community room at the apartment complex. It's nice, with a little kitchen and comfortable seating.
Having only been here a year and with most of that hunkered down, trying to survive financially, I haven't made many friends. Now, I talk to everyone, but it's a passing thing that is rarely repeated. These are more superficial acquaintances. I have friends from the mall job, but they're in the same boat-barely living paycheck to paycheck. If I can just get a handful of customers, to "infect" with my wonderful products and winning personality, that will begin the viral marketing necessary to operate in Santa Fe. Word of mouth is the top marketing technique. It can make or break a business in a heartbeat.
I'm still keeping the website going, even added an educational page-something that is highly recommended on websites these days. The podcast is moving along and is a tool for my viral marketing. The book has been a recent casualty of all of this flurry. I'm desperately focusing on ways to help support us and haven't been writing the past few weeks. I miss it. I'm consumed with conjuring up new ideas to get the business off the ground on the last bit of shoestring that I have, without looking like it. It's got to be good from the start, and the idea petrifies me. I still push on, creating my own brand and talking to everyone who will listen. I'm carrying business cards and handing them out. Today, my palm pixie will earn its keep so as to record contact info and press for party dates from those excited individuals I run into.
So, I push back the depression, anxiety, desperation, and cynicism that have made their home inside me. Today I pick up the package that's waiting for me, unpack the final items that complete my sample collection, and then go out in search of potential customers.
November is my start month. It gives me time to acquaint myself with the products and create my party persona. There are items to be printed up, in small quantity on my home printer for starters. Photoshop is my friend these days and I've managed to get fairly proficient with it. The necessary wiping of my hard drive really set me back as I'm still trying to locate files that were saved on every memory card we have. Slowly that mess is getting cleaned up.
I think I'm starting to ramble so need to put one foot in front of the other and get to work. I'm hoping for a productive day.
Anyway, hundreds of resumes, applications, and interviews later, here I am. I feel like a lifeless drone, throwing papers to the electronic wind and hoping some of them stick to some processor on someone's desk. There's no face time, unless they call for an interview. 99% of potential employers request no phone calls or surprise visits, just email us your paperwork and we'll be calling whomever looks like the person we want. How do you encapsulate your years of experience and the wisdom gained from that experience, your personality, your enthusiasm for the position into a couple of sheets of paper? I've been in the top 5 more times than I want to think about, only to be told, "Sorry, we found someone with the exact qualifications we're looking for."
Being 49 doesn't help, either. There's a lot of us out roaming the want ads, in search of a piece of the meager salaried positions. Excitement over a request for an interview is curtailed. We show up and put on the face of excitement over the minimum wage pay and the anticipation of being supervised by someone our child's age. We want the job, any job, but cynicism's undercurrent flows on unhindered.
Life just moves on. Highs are flattened by the inevitable "thanks, but no thanks." I know care must be taken to avoid the "self fulfilling prophecy" from this doldrums I'm caught in. So I turn back to focus my energy on the business that has been on life support for the past few months. I got a big order from a friend of mine that gave me the extra cash to purchase the remaining items needed to begin the party circuit. I'm hosting the first one as I figured that would be a good place to hone my skills. I'm not having it at our apartment (for one thing, there's no seating and I've made an open invite to members of a women's group that I joined a while back, so don't really know them that well.) I'll be using the community room at the apartment complex. It's nice, with a little kitchen and comfortable seating.
Having only been here a year and with most of that hunkered down, trying to survive financially, I haven't made many friends. Now, I talk to everyone, but it's a passing thing that is rarely repeated. These are more superficial acquaintances. I have friends from the mall job, but they're in the same boat-barely living paycheck to paycheck. If I can just get a handful of customers, to "infect" with my wonderful products and winning personality, that will begin the viral marketing necessary to operate in Santa Fe. Word of mouth is the top marketing technique. It can make or break a business in a heartbeat.
I'm still keeping the website going, even added an educational page-something that is highly recommended on websites these days. The podcast is moving along and is a tool for my viral marketing. The book has been a recent casualty of all of this flurry. I'm desperately focusing on ways to help support us and haven't been writing the past few weeks. I miss it. I'm consumed with conjuring up new ideas to get the business off the ground on the last bit of shoestring that I have, without looking like it. It's got to be good from the start, and the idea petrifies me. I still push on, creating my own brand and talking to everyone who will listen. I'm carrying business cards and handing them out. Today, my palm pixie will earn its keep so as to record contact info and press for party dates from those excited individuals I run into.
So, I push back the depression, anxiety, desperation, and cynicism that have made their home inside me. Today I pick up the package that's waiting for me, unpack the final items that complete my sample collection, and then go out in search of potential customers.
November is my start month. It gives me time to acquaint myself with the products and create my party persona. There are items to be printed up, in small quantity on my home printer for starters. Photoshop is my friend these days and I've managed to get fairly proficient with it. The necessary wiping of my hard drive really set me back as I'm still trying to locate files that were saved on every memory card we have. Slowly that mess is getting cleaned up.
I think I'm starting to ramble so need to put one foot in front of the other and get to work. I'm hoping for a productive day.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I Think I'm Making Headway...
I'm still in job search mode, but hopeful (again) that a job I interviewed for this morning will come through. The hours are good and there's great potential for future advancement.
I made a really good sale Saturday and think I just might be able to pull some parties together. It'll take a little ingenuity to pull off some of the display pieces I want. (It's amazing how good cardboard looks with satin over it!) I got an amazing buy on a folding table, that folds in the middle, and has wheels so I can pull it along to where ever I need to take it. A while back I got a little folding hand-truck like thing (teachers use them) at a very good clearance price. Now, to make a tablecloth for the table and wait for the ordered items to show up.
My website is filling out nicely and I've added some new pages and lots more items to it. I'm trying very hard to have the patience to wait for the word-of mouth, viral marketing, to work its magic. I hand out business cards everywhere I go and talk to lots of people. Last week I interviewed an author from Australia for my October 15th podcast. My listener numbers are slowly going up on that, as well. It's a non-paying project, but should send the curious to my website, and maybe the curious will buy something?
My book has been on hold for the past week as I was having a terrible time with my computer-no sound. 2 techs. and several on the phone later, couldn't figure out the problem, and eventually recommended wiping my hard drive as there seemed to be something viral or otherwise causing the problem. Well, I've spent several days reconstructing everything and loading my files back into it. My audio works great, which is good since I needed to edit the interview and make it podcast ready.
On this Sunday, I'm going to be helping out with a short independent film as one of many part-time production assistants. It's non paid, but could lead to future paid opportunities, if the director likes my work. He is planning a major film in the future. He is an actor/producer/director (his name is Michael John Gabriel), so who knows what that future holds.
Cameron is feeling more positive these days and has accepted Santa Fe as his home. He's got a group of friends that he rides with on Sunday mornings and on Halloween he has been invited to a special tribal event. I'm not sure what tribe the Shaman is from, who invited Cameron and his friend Scott. All I know is that it's a guy only thing and they'll be sleeping out in the desert. What he has to say when he returns should be interesting. I think Tuesday and I will hang out together and maybe watch some Netflix. (We don't get any trick or treaters here.) I'm very happy he's found some people with similar interests to hang out with.
I feel a change in the wind (or maybe it's just fall) and am hoping it is for the better for us. Being in limbo is difficult and, unfortunately, we're quite familiar with it.
Oh, here's some pictures of my current nemesis, called "Chamisa". Since Santa Fe encourages xeriscaping (not sure of the spelling), the town is covered in native plants. It's quite pretty as something is always blooming, but my allergies aren't too keen on it.
I made a really good sale Saturday and think I just might be able to pull some parties together. It'll take a little ingenuity to pull off some of the display pieces I want. (It's amazing how good cardboard looks with satin over it!) I got an amazing buy on a folding table, that folds in the middle, and has wheels so I can pull it along to where ever I need to take it. A while back I got a little folding hand-truck like thing (teachers use them) at a very good clearance price. Now, to make a tablecloth for the table and wait for the ordered items to show up.
My website is filling out nicely and I've added some new pages and lots more items to it. I'm trying very hard to have the patience to wait for the word-of mouth, viral marketing, to work its magic. I hand out business cards everywhere I go and talk to lots of people. Last week I interviewed an author from Australia for my October 15th podcast. My listener numbers are slowly going up on that, as well. It's a non-paying project, but should send the curious to my website, and maybe the curious will buy something?
My book has been on hold for the past week as I was having a terrible time with my computer-no sound. 2 techs. and several on the phone later, couldn't figure out the problem, and eventually recommended wiping my hard drive as there seemed to be something viral or otherwise causing the problem. Well, I've spent several days reconstructing everything and loading my files back into it. My audio works great, which is good since I needed to edit the interview and make it podcast ready.
On this Sunday, I'm going to be helping out with a short independent film as one of many part-time production assistants. It's non paid, but could lead to future paid opportunities, if the director likes my work. He is planning a major film in the future. He is an actor/producer/director (his name is Michael John Gabriel), so who knows what that future holds.
Cameron is feeling more positive these days and has accepted Santa Fe as his home. He's got a group of friends that he rides with on Sunday mornings and on Halloween he has been invited to a special tribal event. I'm not sure what tribe the Shaman is from, who invited Cameron and his friend Scott. All I know is that it's a guy only thing and they'll be sleeping out in the desert. What he has to say when he returns should be interesting. I think Tuesday and I will hang out together and maybe watch some Netflix. (We don't get any trick or treaters here.) I'm very happy he's found some people with similar interests to hang out with.
I feel a change in the wind (or maybe it's just fall) and am hoping it is for the better for us. Being in limbo is difficult and, unfortunately, we're quite familiar with it.
Oh, here's some pictures of my current nemesis, called "Chamisa". Since Santa Fe encourages xeriscaping (not sure of the spelling), the town is covered in native plants. It's quite pretty as something is always blooming, but my allergies aren't too keen on it.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Trying to Get a Handle On Everything
The last couple of days, I've been reading the book for my upcoming interview. I'm going to record the actual interview Sunday evening, giving me a couple of weeks to edit it and post it on the 15th. It's been a hard book to read and quite long. I'm still not sure what approach to take with the author when we discuss it.
In addition to the reading, I've submitted several resumes/applications this week and made some additions to my website. Yesterday, I went to an address to "apply in person" for a receptionist position. Not knowing what kind of business it was, I was surprised to find that it is a very trendy salon. Wishing I had put on a little more make up or spent a little more time on my hair, I went through the doors. It's a very cool place and everyone is very friendly. I was asked to wait for the business manager. Oh, joy! An on the spot interview! I definitely wished I'd known and did a little more sprucing up. Well, it turns out the manager is fantastic. We had a great talk and he is passing me on to have an interview with the other 2 partners. So, I impressed one, now I wait for the second stage interview. I'm crossing my fingers. He says he prefers to hire people from out of town, because they have a good work ethic. Locals, apparently, are not very dependable.
OK, so that's the situation on the job front. During those last 2 days, I haven't worked on the book very much, since the interview was coming up and the book for that had to be finished. But now, I'm back on it. Not so much writing, but doing what I probably should have done initially-gathering information. I've pulled all my blog entries and am going through the comments. There's too many gaps in my memory and my blog posts for me to be comfortable writing much at this time. Today's job is to finish going through every scrap of emails, blogs, comments, notes, that I can find and enter them into my time line. Since I didn't do this initially, I am going to be going back through my first 7 chapters and making some adjustments; probably beginning some new chapters, as well.
Oh, I'm going to be a non-paid production assistant for an indie film that is being filmed on the 16th and 17th. I met the producer/director on Facebook (Michael John Gabriel) and he asked me if I'd like to fill one of the positions that he still needs people for. He says this is like an audition for future paid work for everyone involved. Sounds like fun, and I did let him know that my schedule may suddenly change if I get a paying job requiring my presence those two days. The Sunday should be fine, it's the Saturday that I'm not sure of. He says there are 4 shifts and I can do one or all four or any combination. So it's pretty loose.
I'm taking on another project, that I hope I can get done fairly quickly and easily. I got burned on my last attempt at bartering website building, in exchange for some tattoo work (he ended up not holding up his end of the bargain and so I had to take it all down). I have made a similar agreement with a friend who does tattoos on the side. Since he has a day job, he does it more for fun, than anything and it has come in handy for him to barter with. He's been professionally doing them for 17 years, but prefers to be able to just do them, now, as he feels like it. He knows the guy that I first did a site for and understands my wariness, but this time, he's doing the work first, then he says I can do the website at my leisure. So, it's a matter of making arrangements and working out the artwork. His site should be quick and easy to put up, since I've already done one. The only aspect that I think is going to give me some trouble is his logo. It's really unusual. As long as he can get me the full artwork, it should be OK.
Oh, tomorrow is another BMW track day. Cameron and I are the official photographers for track day. We get to go hang out on a curve and take pictures of whomever rides by. It can get kind of hot, but we've been having nice weather. Of course, this is taking place a couple thousand feet lower in elevation, so we'll see. Hats and lots of sunscreen! Anyone, who can pay the track fees, can come and use the track that day and the event is sponsored by the BMW dealerships. Employees can ride for free. Cameron has gone on the track a couple of times, but I'm not sure if he'll do it tomorrow.
It's going to be a challenge getting down to Albuquerque and to the track. The annual balloon fiesta is this weekend and is a huge tourist attraction for the region. I'm hoping to be able to see some of them in the air from the track. I will definitely take pictures. I don't know the air patterns around here very well, so have no idea which way they'll go after launch.
Well, it looks like a couple of my emails I sent out asking for archived information from the time of the accident may have been answered. So, back to the timeline! I'll keep you posted about all the crazy stuff I'm doing.
In addition to the reading, I've submitted several resumes/applications this week and made some additions to my website. Yesterday, I went to an address to "apply in person" for a receptionist position. Not knowing what kind of business it was, I was surprised to find that it is a very trendy salon. Wishing I had put on a little more make up or spent a little more time on my hair, I went through the doors. It's a very cool place and everyone is very friendly. I was asked to wait for the business manager. Oh, joy! An on the spot interview! I definitely wished I'd known and did a little more sprucing up. Well, it turns out the manager is fantastic. We had a great talk and he is passing me on to have an interview with the other 2 partners. So, I impressed one, now I wait for the second stage interview. I'm crossing my fingers. He says he prefers to hire people from out of town, because they have a good work ethic. Locals, apparently, are not very dependable.
OK, so that's the situation on the job front. During those last 2 days, I haven't worked on the book very much, since the interview was coming up and the book for that had to be finished. But now, I'm back on it. Not so much writing, but doing what I probably should have done initially-gathering information. I've pulled all my blog entries and am going through the comments. There's too many gaps in my memory and my blog posts for me to be comfortable writing much at this time. Today's job is to finish going through every scrap of emails, blogs, comments, notes, that I can find and enter them into my time line. Since I didn't do this initially, I am going to be going back through my first 7 chapters and making some adjustments; probably beginning some new chapters, as well.
Oh, I'm going to be a non-paid production assistant for an indie film that is being filmed on the 16th and 17th. I met the producer/director on Facebook (Michael John Gabriel) and he asked me if I'd like to fill one of the positions that he still needs people for. He says this is like an audition for future paid work for everyone involved. Sounds like fun, and I did let him know that my schedule may suddenly change if I get a paying job requiring my presence those two days. The Sunday should be fine, it's the Saturday that I'm not sure of. He says there are 4 shifts and I can do one or all four or any combination. So it's pretty loose.
I'm taking on another project, that I hope I can get done fairly quickly and easily. I got burned on my last attempt at bartering website building, in exchange for some tattoo work (he ended up not holding up his end of the bargain and so I had to take it all down). I have made a similar agreement with a friend who does tattoos on the side. Since he has a day job, he does it more for fun, than anything and it has come in handy for him to barter with. He's been professionally doing them for 17 years, but prefers to be able to just do them, now, as he feels like it. He knows the guy that I first did a site for and understands my wariness, but this time, he's doing the work first, then he says I can do the website at my leisure. So, it's a matter of making arrangements and working out the artwork. His site should be quick and easy to put up, since I've already done one. The only aspect that I think is going to give me some trouble is his logo. It's really unusual. As long as he can get me the full artwork, it should be OK.
Oh, tomorrow is another BMW track day. Cameron and I are the official photographers for track day. We get to go hang out on a curve and take pictures of whomever rides by. It can get kind of hot, but we've been having nice weather. Of course, this is taking place a couple thousand feet lower in elevation, so we'll see. Hats and lots of sunscreen! Anyone, who can pay the track fees, can come and use the track that day and the event is sponsored by the BMW dealerships. Employees can ride for free. Cameron has gone on the track a couple of times, but I'm not sure if he'll do it tomorrow.
It's going to be a challenge getting down to Albuquerque and to the track. The annual balloon fiesta is this weekend and is a huge tourist attraction for the region. I'm hoping to be able to see some of them in the air from the track. I will definitely take pictures. I don't know the air patterns around here very well, so have no idea which way they'll go after launch.
Well, it looks like a couple of my emails I sent out asking for archived information from the time of the accident may have been answered. So, back to the timeline! I'll keep you posted about all the crazy stuff I'm doing.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
No News Is Definitely Not Good News!
Well, today is, for the most part, over and I have not received a call from the Humane Society, where I interviewed last week. They said the would not call unless I was chosen. So, here I am. The interview I had yesterday was for Head Start, which is funded by government money, so has to go through a 3 week process to make any sort of decision.
I know several of you were wondering about all of that, so there it is.
Today was the worst one for job leads. Not much posted that I could remotely qualify for, unless I'm big and burley, and can lift 50+ lbs on a regular basis, or have prior experience doing, which I didn't have for any of them. Another thing that's frustrating here is the "must be bilingual" criteria that is with about a third of all the job openings. I wish I could learn languages easily, but they just don't stick!
Well, in the meantime, I've got 7chapters under my belt and many still to go. Speaking of which, I do need to get back to that business at hand.
Have a good evening!
Patti
I know several of you were wondering about all of that, so there it is.
Today was the worst one for job leads. Not much posted that I could remotely qualify for, unless I'm big and burley, and can lift 50+ lbs on a regular basis, or have prior experience doing, which I didn't have for any of them. Another thing that's frustrating here is the "must be bilingual" criteria that is with about a third of all the job openings. I wish I could learn languages easily, but they just don't stick!
Well, in the meantime, I've got 7chapters under my belt and many still to go. Speaking of which, I do need to get back to that business at hand.
Have a good evening!
Patti
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Understanding More as I Go
Well, my interview seemed to go well, yesterday. The position is made for me, except for the hours. It's 3 8-hour days: Sat, Sun, Mon. Not bad, except Cameron's "weekend" is Sun/Mon. It could make for some drastic schedule changes at home. At this point, though, anything is good.
After the interview, I went to the mall to see some of the friends I left behind, especially the others still at the Pagoda. Unfortunately, the manager was there, and since I didn't give her any notice, I really didn't want to see her. Luckily, she disappeared from the kiosk for quite some time, as usual, so I was able to go into the Zales, which is next door, to chat with one of my friends in there. While I was talking with her, one of my other friends, he had been a regular customer at the kiosk, saw me and stopped to talk. He was in a hurry, so I told him I'd stop by the salon he works at in a little while.
Both of my friends want to place an order with me. We'll see if they follow through. The one at Zales gets paid next week and said she'd call me then. The other, is interested in more products than I have on my website so wants me to bring him a catalog next week. All it takes is word of mouth in this town. If I can get a handful of happy customers, they'll tell their friends, etc. Viral marketing is what I was told it takes to make a business, here. Several good experiences can create a success, but a bad one can destroy it. That's Santa Fe.
I've made progress on several other fronts. I'm slowly filling in my podcast guest schedule. I'm booked through November. I'm slowly making my way through the book for October's show. The publisher I frequently work with, is sending me about 6 books to choose from, that are by the author I'll be interviewing in November. She's fairly prolific and has a couple coming out then. I'm not sure about the others she's sending me, but free books are always welcome!
Then, speaking of books, I'm managing to get about a chapter written each day. Though I took yesterday off to just regenerate. I have 5 chapters and a prologue in final stages. Cameron is encouraging me to keep working on it, not wanting me to loose my momentum. He says it's riveting writing and the story line very intense. He's sure it will be a good book once I finish. I'm handling it one chapter at a time, with an outline to keep me on track. I don't know how many chapters there will be. Each one begins and ends on its own terms. Most prompt tears at some point in them. That makes them all the more tiring to write. I think this will turn out to be good therapy for me, once it's all done and all the memories are packed into a file outside of my brain.
With the thoughts from chapter 5 neatly tucked away in my laptop, I should be able to get some sleep. I have another interview on, I think Tuesday, so I'll let you know how that one goes. Good night!
After the interview, I went to the mall to see some of the friends I left behind, especially the others still at the Pagoda. Unfortunately, the manager was there, and since I didn't give her any notice, I really didn't want to see her. Luckily, she disappeared from the kiosk for quite some time, as usual, so I was able to go into the Zales, which is next door, to chat with one of my friends in there. While I was talking with her, one of my other friends, he had been a regular customer at the kiosk, saw me and stopped to talk. He was in a hurry, so I told him I'd stop by the salon he works at in a little while.
Both of my friends want to place an order with me. We'll see if they follow through. The one at Zales gets paid next week and said she'd call me then. The other, is interested in more products than I have on my website so wants me to bring him a catalog next week. All it takes is word of mouth in this town. If I can get a handful of happy customers, they'll tell their friends, etc. Viral marketing is what I was told it takes to make a business, here. Several good experiences can create a success, but a bad one can destroy it. That's Santa Fe.
I've made progress on several other fronts. I'm slowly filling in my podcast guest schedule. I'm booked through November. I'm slowly making my way through the book for October's show. The publisher I frequently work with, is sending me about 6 books to choose from, that are by the author I'll be interviewing in November. She's fairly prolific and has a couple coming out then. I'm not sure about the others she's sending me, but free books are always welcome!
Then, speaking of books, I'm managing to get about a chapter written each day. Though I took yesterday off to just regenerate. I have 5 chapters and a prologue in final stages. Cameron is encouraging me to keep working on it, not wanting me to loose my momentum. He says it's riveting writing and the story line very intense. He's sure it will be a good book once I finish. I'm handling it one chapter at a time, with an outline to keep me on track. I don't know how many chapters there will be. Each one begins and ends on its own terms. Most prompt tears at some point in them. That makes them all the more tiring to write. I think this will turn out to be good therapy for me, once it's all done and all the memories are packed into a file outside of my brain.
With the thoughts from chapter 5 neatly tucked away in my laptop, I should be able to get some sleep. I have another interview on, I think Tuesday, so I'll let you know how that one goes. Good night!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Fatigued, yet productive
There's still no new interviews or even potential interview contact. I've applied at several locations, both large and small companies. Since most of these applications were submitted on Friday or over the weekend, I don't anticipate hearing from any of them for another day or so.
Some good out of this? I'm getting a good amount of writing done. This is extremely difficult for me as it is dredging up memories that I had pushed down 3 years ago. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Eventually, they start oozing back up and popping into your head. I've suffered from PTSD from Cameron's accident, but never dealt with it with a professional. Now I am, especially now that those memories aren't cooperating like they had for the past few years.
The writing is for a book. It's written from my perspective and begins the day I receive notice of the accident. I don't exactly know where it will stop, but I'm getting it all down on paper. Like throwing up that poisoned food that is only making you miserable while in your stomach, I'm regurgitating the minutes, hours, days , and weeks of a time that I felt more fear and helplessness than anyone should ever experience.
My therapist says it will be a healthy undertaking. I'm not sure I'm 100% with him on this, now that I'm into it. My anxiety levels have increased and I tear-up frequently, especially when I'm writing. I feel moodier and more exhausted than usual. I'm only 50 pages into it, with many more to go. One thing is good. Cameron is glad that I'm doing this. It might be because it helps him to understand what was going on while he was not himself or just happy that I am writing. He's always loved my writing and encouraged me to write. It was always hard to find the time, since I tend to get engulfed in my subject.
I may post some of it here and there, or may send hard copies to those who are interested. I don't know what I'll do with it when it's finished, so would rather not make it available to just anyone who happens upon my blog. That's to be worked out later, I guess. For now, it's been a long day. My allergies have made it difficult to sleep some nights. Last night was one of those, hopefully, tonight will bring me deep, restful, sleep.
Some good out of this? I'm getting a good amount of writing done. This is extremely difficult for me as it is dredging up memories that I had pushed down 3 years ago. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Eventually, they start oozing back up and popping into your head. I've suffered from PTSD from Cameron's accident, but never dealt with it with a professional. Now I am, especially now that those memories aren't cooperating like they had for the past few years.
The writing is for a book. It's written from my perspective and begins the day I receive notice of the accident. I don't exactly know where it will stop, but I'm getting it all down on paper. Like throwing up that poisoned food that is only making you miserable while in your stomach, I'm regurgitating the minutes, hours, days , and weeks of a time that I felt more fear and helplessness than anyone should ever experience.
My therapist says it will be a healthy undertaking. I'm not sure I'm 100% with him on this, now that I'm into it. My anxiety levels have increased and I tear-up frequently, especially when I'm writing. I feel moodier and more exhausted than usual. I'm only 50 pages into it, with many more to go. One thing is good. Cameron is glad that I'm doing this. It might be because it helps him to understand what was going on while he was not himself or just happy that I am writing. He's always loved my writing and encouraged me to write. It was always hard to find the time, since I tend to get engulfed in my subject.
I may post some of it here and there, or may send hard copies to those who are interested. I don't know what I'll do with it when it's finished, so would rather not make it available to just anyone who happens upon my blog. That's to be worked out later, I guess. For now, it's been a long day. My allergies have made it difficult to sleep some nights. Last night was one of those, hopefully, tonight will bring me deep, restful, sleep.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Zozobra opens Fiestas de Santa Fe
The following is from the local paper. This is an annual tradition here and very popular. Unfortunately, they increased the cost to attend, and we really don't like crowds, so we were not present for the festivities. I thought you might be interested in the cultural aspect of it.
[Photo Gallery] Old Man Gloom meets fiery doom - The Santa Fe New Mexican
http://www.zozobra.com/history.html This link will take you to information on the history of Zozobra.
[Photo Gallery] Old Man Gloom meets fiery doom - The Santa Fe New Mexican
http://www.zozobra.com/history.html This link will take you to information on the history of Zozobra.
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